This is something I wrote on MyBadSpace on Wednesday, January 04, 2006. This is the lesson I should have learned. More on that later.
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Freak I’m always freaked out when I see how many times a blathering (blog) of mine has been read. Especially on the days I don’t post anything. Like today. I hadn’t said anything yet but somehow 12 people read something. Is it one person going back to read an entry 12 times? Freak. Is it 12 people all reading one blog? I have to be careful not to let the numbers thing whack me out. Case in point: someone subscribed to my blog…he was the first one…and then he mysteriously left myspace all together. I immediately thought it was something I said. I practically gave myself the proverbial underarm sniff test for days, wringing my hands and whining, “what’d I do?” I scoured my blogs for something offensive, something inexcusable. But, here’s the real problem: I am self-conscious and naked feeling. I write these things for me, myself and I. When I’m writing about the high I get from sirsy, the low I get from cancer; when I write about all the heartache and heartbreak I’m looking inward for the audience. Me, myself and I – we forget you’re in the room when I undress my feelings. Don’t look at us sideways because we might think you’re laughing at us! |
embarrassed
~*LunaSea*~ 