Behind

My watch is two days old. I think it’s the 110th watch I’ve owned. This is, by far, the most expensive watch I’ve ever owned. I don’t really love it so I’m wondering how long it will take before I leave it behind. Like all the others.

That’s the thing about losing things you don’t really love. You can’t miss what you don’t love, especially if you don’t love it enough to go looking for it, or even realize its misplacement. I had a friendship that went missing. I didn’t love it so when it disappeared I didn’t take notice. When I finally noticed I didn’t even search for it. I didn’t want it to be found. At all. I wanted it left behind. Is that bad of me… or is that what they call growth?
They say that people outgrow relationships all the time. What about methodically breaking them down, taking them apart, dismantling? I know I have systematically dismantled two in my lifetime (and if you have been reading my blogs on that other space you were witness to one of them. I had to walk through that leaving in a very public way). This time it’s more private, but I can’t say I regret either leaving behind. Then or now. I’m not sorry for dismantling. I’m not even sorry about the ones that dismantled me. I probably deserved it.