Believe Me Or Me

Posted on by gr4c5

I ran on Friday and this is what I thought about while I was the gerbil.
I am of two minds. I feel mentally ill. On one side of my life I should be upset about the things that were said. About me. On the other side of life, that relationship is behind me and the importance of that person is no more. I’m beginning to think I sided with the wrong side when sides were being taken.
I don’t like insecure people. No, I take that back. I don’t like the way insecurity makes people do and say outrageous, mean things. Bragging to be something they’re not. Lying to lay claim to something they don’t have.
But, on the other hand, maybe I’m jealous of them. When I’m less than confident I shirk from importance. Stay in the shadow of someone more superstar. Keep my mouth shut for fear of saying something stupid. I want to be able to say, I got it going on. I know it’s not true. It’s definitely not me. Maybe I would like to brag about something, anything. But, then again…maybe not. Bottom line, I am who I am. Bad mouthed or not.
Run like a girl. It implies a negative. But. I know better. I run like me.
3.6 miles

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Published by gr4c5

I write. I read. I cook. I run. That's me, in a nutshell.

9 thoughts on “Believe Me Or Me”

  4. Awww sweetie. I am always here if you need to vent. Hugs to you. You are very important to me.

  6. Like a tea kettle screaming when it gets too hot, many insecure people spout off at the mouth and become boastful to mask the fact that they actually are feeling vulnerable and insecure. You are bolder than they are because you do not use that type of a smokescreen to mask your feelings. The silent moments make them nervous. Some might say that your silence is a strength. As our friend Gehring always said “Nothing is so strong as gentleness.”

  7. Thanks everyone. This is something I am wrenching out of my psyche. I have my days of insecurity but I realize it’s due to a fun-house mirror perception (hence the “run like a girl” comment). It’s all in how you take it. I’m learning.

    ahhh…Gehring. A friend, indeed! 🙂

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