I was talking to someone dear to me when all of a sudden she said something so truthful to life I nearly lost my breath. It resonated with me hours later, echoing in my head like the fading sound of a rung bell. I don’t remember how we got on the subject, or even why she said it. The initial thought was lost amid the words of chatter, but what remained was, “I would never post anything bad about my husband on the internet.” There it was. What I needed to hear. What I will believe for all eternity. Words taken right out of my mouth.
I know this woman who rolls her eyes and is quick to complain when the subject of her married-for -life partner comes up. It makes me squirm, twisting to get out of the way of vows turned sour. Why does it hurt ME when someone is ugly about someone not me?
Today, I told my husband I was on the verge of mental not wellness. Seriously feeling unbalanced…like I was coming unglued somewhere secret. Telling him was like picking at a scab and letting him peer into the disgusting, bloody wound – just trusting he wouldn’t turn his head. When he didn’t I knew I was right. He has pockets for my secrets.
I don’t understand what makes us take people for granted. What makes us assume they will always love us, no matter what we do? I thought of the woman who criticized and ridiculed her husband. If he did the unthinkable, died or just disappeared, what would she do? Where would the roll your eyes attitude go in the face of abandonment? If I had to crawl into bed with that fear I wouldn’t sleep very well.
~*LunaSea*~ 
(((hugs))) it is scary exposing our wounds, after we pick the scabs. You are very lucky he has pockets deep enough for you dear friend. Abandonment is a fear so real, so there, it beats with our hearts, some of us daily…
Thank you BTW 😉
I pick my scabs on purpose, exposing myself to whatever may be. I’m just lucky I have someone who understand this.
… and I suspect that you have deep pockets where you keep his secrets safe as well. That, my dear, is the beauty of a strong, healthy relationship. Congratulations on being in one! I am am secure in the fact that I will never need to follow up on my Brass Cat introductory comments. He’s a definite keeper that one 🙂
I love telling people the Brass Cat story! It’s like you knew waaaayy before me (hence my reason for wanting to call you Sage). 😉
You can call me Sage if you want … though I’m more of a Dill or Parsley kind of gal – HA!
Okay so you’re a Dilly girl…nah…. that doesn’t work. Ruby Tues it is! I’ll just throw in WISE Ruby Tues every so often (like now…)