Beloved Death

When Natalie Merchant wrote ‘Beloved Wife’ she was criticized for writing from the point of view of a man. People couldn’t accept a character out of norm so suddenly she was either lesbian or just plain nuts. The point was missed; the lyrics completely unheard. What she was saying was far more unacceptable, far more controversial to our social norm. We don’t like people to die.
We  marry our soul mates. We spend forever and a day with them. Day in, day out is all about being with them, living and loving til death do you part. Ten years turn into twenty until an anniversary of gold looms. “For 50 years, simply my beloved wife.” He or she is all that we know. For life.
What happens when that bond is broken by death and our partner of forever is gone? How do we hang onto a life we no longer know? How do we accept one half of what used to be us and we? Natalie asks the tricky question – “would it be wrong if I should just turn my face away from the light, go with her tonight?” Dying of a broken heart happens all the time. Can we let it happen? “Surrender all the joy in my life, go with her tonight.” As a family member, can we let someone die because they believe being there is better than being here now?
When someone looks at you with empty eyes and swears they won’t live to see their next birthday are you being selfish by saying “Yes, you will. We love you”? When does love become too selfish? Is it possible to love someone beyond the boundries of enough? When is acceptable to let them go?

a depth so deep
into my grief
without my beloved soul
I renounce my life
as my right
now alone without my beloved wife
my beloved wife
                                       ~Natalie Merchant