Grace & Faith

The past three months of my life have been more stressful than Dr. Death’s worst homework assignment and planning a wedding combined. While one hand looked for answers the other had to do the deeds, regardless of knowledge. Working my fingers to the bone, working slight of hand.
Then came the past. Waltzing in like it owned my future. It was hard to stare down the demons, both good and bad. It was hard to peel back the layers of my acceptance and feel the hurt for the someones else. Those someones mean more to me than the blood streaming through my veins. How easy is it to want to avoid the inevitable hurt? Although I want to stop I know that I can’t. We are at a place that cannot be denied or ignored any longer. We must keep the momentum of grace.
To top it all off, I want to go back to school. I know that right now my energy is tapped, my ambition low, my funds all but nonexistent, but I want to be Dr. Mucky-Muck. My horizon is tainted with shouldn’t, wouldn’t and especially, couldn’t. I have to keep faith.
But, for now I need to get back to good. Christmas is fast approaching and the holiday spirit moves me. I got my first card two days ago and that has motivated me to mail my own – starting with the west side of my life.
So, to Grace & Faith. Stay by my side. Don’t let me fly from the roof in an effort to be with my angels. Keep me grounded. Keep me safe. Life has been harder than this, more sorry than this. It’s time to reach for a better place to be.