Someone called me this Grim Reaper this morning. I seem to circle death like a big ugly vulture. I’m like the black widow of the highway. Just last night I was thinking of how haunted I am (still!) by the man hit obliterated by several cars on the highway. I want to talk to him. I want to ask him where was he going? Did he really think he could cross four lanes of traffic in the darkdarkdark of winter? Did he know he was going to be mangled beyond recognition, no legs, no arms, no head- only clothes to make the man human? Then, I want to know to know why there weren’t any flowers, no makeshift memorials to mark someone’s mourning? Wasn’t someone saddened by your untimely demise? Doesn’t someone out there wake to find a void without you day after day? Aren’t you missed by somebody? Even now?
This morning on our way into work (I was driving) kisa and I caught the tail end of an accident of a different kind. Different, yet it was another horrific moment on the highway. Blacker than night smoke and a fireball at least 50 feet high. Cars starting to pile up, break lights glowing. Everything coming to a halt. Here’s what is rumored to have happened: a tanker truck carrying gasoline and diesel was cut off, he swerved to avoid hitting the car that had just cut him off, ended up hitting someone else, swerved again to avoid further damage and ended up hitting a third vehicle, partially going over a bridge and finally burst into flames. People rushed to his rescue. Here’s what drives me nuts. Conditions of any driver involved: unknown. It’s hard to imagine anyone surviving something like that.
Here’s what I do know. Three cars and a truck. At least four different people going somewhere. Going about their business on the same highway. Four people in the same place at the same time. Not one of them said “I might lose my life today.” Not one of them said “Later I am going to be in the accident that will make the headlines. I will be lucky to be alive.” No one kissed a spouse goodbye and thought “Maybe I won’t see you later.” If kisa and I had left on time we could have been in that mess. Ten minutes earlier and we could have been that fourth vehicle. We could have. Could have.
Something to think about: A man from North Hampton, N.H. climbs in his truck and starts his long journey home. Another man settles into his compact car and turns the key thinking about March Madness. A woman looks over her shoulder as she backs down the driveway. She’s meeting a friend for coffee. Another woman pulls her seat belt across her lap as she pulls out of a parking spot. She has one more stop before heading home. Ordinary. Not one of them expects anything different.
~*LunaSea*~ 
Mortality is something that haunts many of us. Causes many of us to think differently. Some… may not. This blog is just so sad. Even though it calls us to notice that some things are meant to be, out of our hands, our pre-chosen path. What we came here to do, for those of us who believe that we chose our paths each lifetime. Or, perhaps in case of the man crossing the highway just didn’t care anymore. He had enough.
This all reminds me of a very sad, but realistic movie “Crash” that was devastating to watch but gnawed at the soul with unanswered questions.
This is why, everyday, I believe we need to look and see, acknowledge the very things we are grateful for! The simple and the complex. It puts our lives in a bit more perspective.
Life is so short, so precious, so uncertain. At this age now, I am seeing even more the frailty of it. I cry at things like you have mentioned here. I always say blessings to a siren I hear, I grieve for those at the other end of it.
Blessings to you and Kisa that everyday you will be protected and kept safe.
Very moving blog. Very haunting. Very sad… I am sorry for what you are feeling here… sorry for all of them too.
This was a hard one to write. Everyday I think about the man who failed to make it to the other side and I have to wonder if he wanted it that way. Then, to see such a horrific explosion and not have all the facts was torture! I have since learned the accident happened in the north bound lane and we were heading south. While that does little to ease my anxiety about the driver (in critical condition) it removes the “could have been” from my life.
My neighbors were friends with the driver, having worked with him in the past. He passed away this morning.
I heard from kisa you saw it all … e-mail me. Lunch/dinner soon!
I hope you are doing better with all of this now. So much to see and absorb. I have thought of this and of you dealing with it daily since reading this.
I saw it in our local paper in the AP section on Sunday. Just such sadness.
Blessings~
Today kisa and I drove by the accident site. It hurt. Really. That’s tomorrow’s blog…then I’ll be able to let it go.