Taken Seriously

There are some people you want to write off because they never mean what they say. Wait. Actually, I’m one of those people when I say I’ll call you. I hardly ever come through with dialing the digits. I think those kinds of short comings are okay, though. Those I’ll-Get-Around-To-It people who somehow never really do. They are okay. You chalk it up to they mean well, but don’t do well. If that makes sense. Manny being Manny kind of excusability.

Yet. And, yet. It’s different when it concerns the heart. Admitting emotion. “I care” when you or you really doesn’t. “I miss you” when you haven’t thought of that you for months or even years. “I love your….” when really, you find them and their [fill in the blank] annoying. Why is that? Why is it that I find a lie of emotion harder to swallow than a lie of action?
I’m trying to make sense of this. Really, I am. I find myself beating moi or me up because I mean well but don’t say well. It translates into not caring well, not feeling well. Being ill. Not nice. Or something.

I’m reading a book about someone who is self-centered and vain. She makes excuses for her superior attitude, like she has earned it, therefore can flaunt it. Wear it not so well. This character lies with emotion about emotion. Even that drives me nuts. Why is that? Why can’t what you say be taken seriously? Not by me, myself and moi, the listening, but youyouyou, the talking?

I think I have it figured out. A lie of action is excusable because it’s tangible. It doesn’t have to be an out and out lie. Something came up. Something always does. Then it’s not a lie, it’s a meant well statement. A lie of the heart is something completely and utterly different. Exposing an emotion isn’t necessary. That’s your call. You don’t have to say it. I never need to know what you’re feeling. Exposing an emotion when it isn’t truly felt is beyond inexcusable. It’s downright mean.

So. Don’t tell me you miss me. Because I can’t take it seriously if I can’t believe it.