All Plans Have Changed

Posted on by gr4c5

I wanted to write about spending time with my good, good friend. How we ran together (only 3.5mi but still…), rolled our eyes at family issues (pass me the bottle), caught the Closer bug together…
I wanted to write about how two great people stepped up and came out with me Friday night. I don’t ask for help very often and my requests aren’t always clear, but they answered the call despite weather and wine and one way streets.
I wanted to write about this one particular house we saw yesterday. It’s the perfect marriage of funky and functional (read = moi & kisa). Dare I say perfect?
I wanted to write my apologies for playing phone tag with two very special people. I am sorry I keep missing the ring so much it becomes rang. Don’t ever think I don’t need you.

Instead, I have cancer on the brain. When I got the call I went cold. “Make her some Natalie cds” my mother urged. “You know, the soothing stuff…” She went onto to say things like, “you won’t recognize her… administering her own chemo…needed to be on Monhegan… metal rods because her bones are so brittle… the whole family is here…” After a little while I stopped listening. All I could hear was my heart pounding & breaking. I kept thinking too young. Too fukcing young. When will this disease go after the sour grapes? When will it turn away from the angels on earth and settle a cold eye somewhere else?

I think it goes without saying that all plans have changed.

Unknown's avatar

Published by gr4c5

I write. I read. I cook. I run. That's me, in a nutshell.

6 thoughts on “All Plans Have Changed”

  1. Oh honey, I am so sorry … if you can, let’s try to find some time to talk or grab dinner before you head off.

  5. Hi guys~

    Thanks so much for your support. This is not someone in MY immediate family, but that’s not the point. My sorrow (frustration, anger, resentment) lies in the fact that this woman has battled and battled and battled. It’s as if cancer is a beast that is bound and determined to kill her. Not giving her a chance to say ‘survivor’ in any way.

  6. it’s truly not fair. i can’t understand how it is that we can put a man on the moon, create weapons of mass destruction and clone an animal yet a cure for Cancer still eludes mankind. i’m glad that you’re going there. the comfort of friends and family is one she’ll need. i’ll be thinking of you and sending my thoughts and prayers for even the slightest of miracles. xoxo

Share Your Thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.