Debris From Tornado I

On a Kashi-Good-For-You lunch break I have decided to go back and pick up the pieces from the tornado I blog. I have to wonder if any of those pieces were worth discussing at this point since time has marched on. I definitely could go back to the friend piece because that’s what had me so high on Friday night in the first place ~ that, and two huge glasses of Merlot. I spent a good portion of the night trying not to be an emotional train-wreck. First, there was G. and his heartbreak and glasses of water. I think the waiter wanted to strangle him (if only we had BubbleGum Jr. as our waiter…sigh). Then, there was the worry-worry-worry about a near no-show friend. His absence would have killed me. Just when I had given up, had stopped watching the door, he graced me with his “I’m okay-ness” face. The 11th hour reprieve – he brought the promised people, too. We were the eight I thought we would be.
I’m grateful to C for his advice, because I took it, I used it. I let it help me. Thanks. During PLMB I closed my eyes and, “listened like it was the first time.” I knew “my” line would come and go without the nod, so I didn’t feel the need to make eye contact with anyone. It worked. I closed me (suddenly, I’m Irish) eyes to hide the tears, but I also closed my eyes to Let Go of the past. I. Am. Getting. There.
Normally, I would recap the whole music scene that has me so emotional, but this is where the advice of another friend comes in. This person is lodged in my heart and I trust him with all of it. When he said things like, “don’t say anything” and “hypersensitive” and “better if you do” I listened and listened. It helps that sirsy hasn’t posted a setlist from the night, but I’m also deflated because when something makes me happy I want to say something about it. This whole leaving things unsaid is going to be tough, out of my M.O., but I know I should listened my friend.

As for everything else in that blog – the thrill  I mean, thought is gone. So, no ping pong balls.