S came to visit last night. Talk talk talk talk. She would ask a question and I would say “well, that’s a whole ‘nother story!” On and on, catching up.
Somehow we got on the subject of letting go of friends. This is something that has come up for me a few times. BubbleGum mentioned “letting go of toxic relationships” in a blog about plane crashes (October 29, 2006 if you are interested), Klein went on a multi-blog rant about the friends she has Let Go (February 12, 2007 is the first one). Those of you who read my other blog know I went through a friend purge almost two years ago. (wow. has it really been that long?) Maybe if I get gutsy I’ll repost that Dear John letter.
This time we talked about not a purge, not a letting go, but rather a slipping away. There was a definite break in the friendship and how it all came about saddened me, for sure, but I guess I never really thought about the finality of it all. It didn’t occur to me it was the end of the end of the end. I guess I always assumed something would come up and we would talk again. Something in common would bring us back together instead of keep us apart. Or something. Yet, like a candle going out our friendship quietly silently darkened and the wisps of memory faded away to nothing. Now you seem ’em, now you don’t. I don’t know which disturbs me more – the fact that I didn’t notice or the realization that I didn’t care.
Even when a brief conversation renewed our communication I felt nothing. It was if I talked to a stranger and was waiting for familiarity to show up. Something that would link the word “friend” to this face. Nothing.Do we grow apart because we can? Does it happen so easily because secretly we never liked them in the first place? I don’t think that’s what happened here. What is the opposite of falling in love? That time when the more you know the more you don’t love?
We dreamed of ’57 chevies and rock and roll guitars. We chewed grape bubblegum and swigged orange soda. We wore bandannas on our ankles and hearts on our sleeves. Eye shadow was blue and sneakers pink. When the candle of friendship was snuffed out no one had a match. Go your own way.
~*LunaSea*~ 
Very moving. I am sorry for your sadness. I know what you mean though, you present a very good question. Hmmm, I will have to meditate on that.
Ever read this one? (I can only find it online credited as “author unknown”)
“A Reason, A Season or a Lifetime”
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person/people (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.