There are times in your life when you should leave well enough alone. Don’t open Pandora’s Box because it will only have you questioning the unanswerable, lamenting the unchangeable.
I read your diary today. The 1990 version to be exact. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry over your apparent insanity. Afraid to be alone, petrified to be yourself, terrified to speak your mind, pitiful to witness, even now. Even still. You actually wrote, and I quote, ” –‘s birthday. Please tell me we’re still together!” Couldn’t you try for a relationship where there would be no doubt, or was that too much to ask? Everyday was another fight, another break-up, another make-up bitch session. Hate, love, hate. No wonder you couldn’t keep your head on straight.
The subsequent years (1993-1998) weren’t that much better. Different “loves”, same old debate. Love. Hate. You still couldn’t open your mouth to save your life. You should have died.
I’m staring into Pandora’s Box remember too much of what I shouldn’t and thinking sleeping dogs don’t bite. Why wake, why remember? You should be dead to me, like all the rest. You should be just another number, another failed attempt of something called love. I shouldn’t call your name let alone remember it. I dream of your face and hope it’s nothing like memory. Fresh starts are made of this. Closing of the box.
~*LunaSea*~ 
we really need a “hug” emotiocon here!
This is probably the most private blog I have posted. It’s the purge of a lifetime.
I felt that (((hug))) I sensed that and just wanted to hug you.
The past has made us into the person that we know today. Our choices from here on in will make us who we will be tomorrow … next week … and next year. I always like to think that life is a wild game of “choose your own adventure” and it is never to late to make a new choice and choose a new adventure. Thank goodness we all have the power to grow, to learn and to change. And change … we do!
Amen.