“Scary thought. Old habits die hard. Old habits don’t die easily. Whatever. You get the picture. I don’t change. No matter how much I want to.”
I wrote that sitting in a Saturn dealership after getting someone fired over three years ago. Good things happen for a reason. If —–never got fired I never would have met —–…Weird to think that life works in that way, especially when you don’t know it will actually be that way. Or something like that. It’s not that I wanted —- to get fired. It’s just when you end up doing someone else’s job all the time you start to think maybe they should pay you for it, or at least stop pretending “they” are doing all the work. Whatever. It came down to just that. I stopped covering for someone and suddenly the cover was blown. It’s hard to do the work when you don’t know how in the first place. You can only be the great pretender for so long. Someone’s gonna figure you out sooner or later.
What I discovered on that cold day nearly three years ago is that I’m a pushover. I care too much. Like I said then I’ll say today: some things never change.
~*LunaSea*~ 
You are a lot of things my dear, but I would never call you a pushover. You can be tough, stubborn, a real stickler, and very firm. But you also can be fair, empathetic, sympathetic, quite reasonable and you know your limits. I’ve seen all this in you and more. There is a fine balance between all these things, and on occassion you lean hard in one direction. There is nothing wrong with a hard lean. But it is YOU who chooses to lean after you weight all the options, factors and information. No my dear, you are not a traditional pushover, for it is the rare person who gets away with pushing you.
I like to think that you are a wee bit too feisty to be pushed 🙂
I have an image of Michael Jackson in the smooth criminal video – the one where he’s leaning waaaay over. Is that wrong? 😉
ps~ thank you for your words. what would I do without you?
I understand. I feel for you too. I am my own worst enemy. I believe in the person before the facts. I give too many chances. I walk around wondering *Why did I believe that?* I care far far too much.
We are who we are, and when I stop and REALLY think about it most days, I would never trade that. The hope, the belief and the compassion. For SHAME on them!!!
I don’t think you would either…
i agree with timeforme…we all tend to be the hardest on ourselves.
i remember an article from a girly magazine and it asked a pretty challenging question…would we treat or talk to our best friend the way we do to ourselves. ex. i need to lose 10 lbs to be loveable. we would easily say that about ourselves but never to a friend. its cheesy and cliche but if we don’t love ourselves, how can others?