Wasted on the Way

Somewhere along the way I decided I wasn’t going to play the game anymore. Except, somewhere along the way I forgot to tell you. Consider this the open letter of I’m telling you now. I’m wasted enough to stop waiting.

I’m through with the games. We have been lying to each other for a while now. We play ping pong with promises. Bounce one to me and I’ll volley one back. But, really, they’re all lies. I have no intention of calling you. I have no intention of helping you out. The game is at the give up point and I’ve given all that I can. Now I’m just pretending. Now I’m just acting stupid because I can’t tell you how I really feel. Until now. I went from being your biggest fan favorite to feeling like the biggest fallout failure.

You used me to get somewhere else. That’s okay as long as you got where you needed to go. That’s only because I got something out of it, too. But now I’m done. There were too many other people involved and I can’t justify dragging them into this any longer. If there’s any dragging to be done it’ll be done by me – dragging my tail between my legs and admitting I was stupidstupidstupid.

Kisa has heard the rant. Time has heard the rant. I think everyone has heard the rant. The rant has turned me into a raving lunatic. Pass me the bottle. I want to poison myself enough to puke out everything vile, everything I thought I believed in. I need to get wasted to make you go away.

4 Comments on “Wasted on the Way”

  1. timeforme says:

    😦 so many things leave scars that never heal… do we fail if we have tried? Aren’t we better for at least trying? These are questions that haunt me certain days when the soul is restless and the tears won’t stop.
    Self awarness… you have not failed.

  2. gr4c5 says:

    “when the soul is restless…” EXACTLY! thank you for that. I hear you.

  3. Ruby Tues says:

    You have to purge it all out … thus those rants. I get that 🙂

  4. gr4c5 says:

    Maybe I should have called this blog “the never ending rant” or something! LOL!

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