I had to say no several times yesterday. What a weird concept. Usually I skirt around the issue, not wanting to come right out with not participating. How liberating, how honest to just say no. Not now. Nope. Why haven’t I thought about this before? Why haven’t I dared?
In the case of the work whiners it was easiest when I could look at the time and say we need to continue this tomorrow. My charges? To find out what makes some so damn inefficient. Easier said than done. No Grace under pressure. I had to admire this one administrator. In mid-sentence she was told she needed to be somewhere else. It didn’t ruin her day. It didn’t ruin her attitude. She was able to slide over to a new way of thinking. When I asked her how she managed she looked at me and deadpanned, “interruption is not a word in my vocabulary.” I love it. Word to the wise. Wise up.
It’s harder to say no to friends. I had plans to get together with someone who really means a lot to me. Yet, I need to stay on my training schedule. I couldn’t have done both successfully. It bothered me that the training won out. It bothered me to have to tell her no. After all, she is my inspiration. She is my hero. Yet, I put her off, hero or not. This is the way it had to be. No, I said. I need to train. Her graceful acceptance allowed me to walk nine miles. I got it done because I didn’t give in.
Later, an invitation to chat. Under any other circumstances I would have loved sparring with this flirty friend. He’s quick with the compliments and quicker with the innuendos. I love the sass. I love the challenge this conversation always presents to me. Who can be the most indulgent, the most daring? But, sigh of all sighs, I had to tell him and his innuendos no. I needed a warm bath and a hot cup of tea. As I let the water wrap itself around my tired legs I thought about this new no I seem to have. While I don’t necessary like it or want it, it works for now. For now.
5 thoughts on “Learning to Say IT”
i completely understand how hard it is to say “no”. great job sticking to what you needed to do. call me later!
You know – sometimes, things actually DO have to be “all about you”. Isn’t it nice when you get to put your own needs first? 🙂
Sarah~ thanks for being so understanding. I know you have been there yourself a few times.
Ruby ~ really, it’s still not about “me.” I’m not walking 60 miles for me. I’m not looking for cost saving measures for me. I guess it’s all about priorities at the moment. When it’s about me I will have succeeded in something larger than life.
Yes – but it the fact of the matter is that it is all about your priorities – FINALLY! And this is a very VERY good thing 🙂 I think you’ll find that saying no can be somewhat empowering. After all, life is a fun game of “choose your own adventure” … and choosing to say no puts you in total control of your own game. YIPPEE!!!!
That is such a cool concept!
ps~ thank you for teaching me the monkey swear. I’m now using it a lot!