Silversmith, E.S. Behind Closed Doors: Memoirs of an American Call Girl. BCD Memoir, 2025.
Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I get to read interesting books. This is one of them.
Every so often I review a book that has me in a dilemma. Does Silversmith want me to cheer her on as a call girl or does she want me to grimace and shudder alongside her in shamed sympathy? Can I shrug off her story with indifference and say that the lifestyle was one hundred percent her choice? Silversmith’s stories are mostly about dangerous, dirty, and unhealthy situations she had put herself in for the sake of making a more than decent living. There are a sea of contradictions within the pages of Behind Closed Doors. I didn’t get the sense she was backed into a corner of desperation where the only dark hope of escape was being a call girl other than by the urgings of a domineering boyfriend. Yet, at another time when she is completely alone and unsure how to pay her rent she resorts to prostitution. It is true sex workers of any ilk run the dangerous risk of being infected with an STD or life threatening disease. Pregnancy or sterilization can occur if one is not careful. Beyond the threat of violence or death there is the unspoken reality of the erosion of mental health. Even worse, it is a known fact that serial killers target sex workers. The perception is these women are all alone, despite having husbands, boyfriends, and even children. Silversmith is aware of the statistics and although she calls her services “high end” she spends a fair amount of time in rundown, sketchy trailers and motels. Maybe that is why there was a fair amount of sighing, frowning, shuddering and mace and taser gripping in her stories. Luckily for her, as she says, she has a “flexible moral compass.” She is able to peel back the curtain and resolve some logistical curiosities like rules of engagement, payment options, and prescribed duration of service.
Observations: I wanted to know the end of the story about the time she couldn’t perform due to an extraordinarily heavy period but she stole the group’s booking fee anyway. Or the time her agency practiced robbery by leaving clients “high and dry” by pulling the fire alarm as a diversion.
As an aside, I envy Silversmith’s keen eyesight. From across the street, in the dark, and through a car window she could see that a client was sporting dandruff.
Music: Misfits, the Ramones, and Bob Marley.
~*LunaSea*~ 