Tag: therapy

Cooking as Therapy

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Borden, Debra. Cooking As Therapy: How to Improve Your Mental Health Through Cooking. Alcove Press, 2025.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing I often review interesting books.

Before reading a single sentence, my first thought about Cooking as Therapy was actually a question. Is this going to be cheesy? Pun fully intended. It is cheesy…to a certain degree. When you use metaphors and puns that come across like bad dad jokes, you are going to illicit a few groans here and there. (Case in point, the trademarked term of sous therapist.) The trick is finding a cooking metaphor that matches an emotion: boiling, baking, etc. My favorite analogy was washing your hands signifies cleaning out the negativity. As an aside, the use alliteration was abundant.
My second thought was another question. Can this book deliver on everything it promises: a possible fix for finding calm, banishing self-doubt, increasing self-esteem and confidence, adding positivity to my life, exploring change, improving communication, creating balance, strengthening spirit, and alleviating overall feelings of sadness?
The world is inundated with experiential therapies using activities like horseback riding, surfing, yoga, yoga with baby goats, forest walking, beach sand play, baby animal cuddling, corn mazes, nature exploring, art classes, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, EMDR, gestalt, CBT, and SFBT. Cooking is a natural fit. I have always heard that cooking is a show of love; cooking is the fastest way to a man’s heart, yadayadayada. Why not a path to the healing heart as well?
Cooking As Therapy is organized in a logical format. Part I is all about methods of cooking and Part II is all about the act of cooking (sessions). It takes nearly 160 pages before you get to the chapter called “How to Use This Book” so like watching water come to a boil, have patience. Cooking as Therapy includes a bibliography for further reading. This book is not just for tackling mental illness. Stroke* and addiction rehabilitation patients can benefit from it as well. Borden gives you the terminology to create your own therapy sessions. Verbs translate into metaphors for mindful and healing observations.
My only suggestion? Encourage people to read through the recipes several times over before beginning. It is a lot to follow the recipe and perform the associated mindfulness tasks. Not every pun or metaphor is obvious.

*How would have Gregory responded to such a therapy? The guy barely ate anything as it was.

Bonus care: Borden pointed out the index in print does not match the electronic version.
Headscratcher moment: Borden says to put away your phone. I’m reading this on my phone.

As an aside, my two degrees of separation from Borden: she mentioned the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. While I have never been there myself. I knew a yoga instructor and a massage therapist who worked there.

Music: Train’s “Bruises.”

Author fact: Borden dedicated her book to her brothers. Borden has her own website here.

Raised by a Narcissist

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Bennett, Serena. Raised By a Narcissist: That Woman, AKA My Mother. Read by Jasmine Morentin.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I am privileged to read (or listen to) interesting books. This is one such story.

In March 2024 Serena Bennett decided she needed to tell her story in order to take her healing from childhood trauma to the next level. In addition to therapy, by writing a book, Bennett was able to confront truths that had been long-hidden. Her story could be considered tragic and yet there is an element of self-discovery and triumph; a phoenix rising from the ashes. She grew up with a mother who belittled, criticized, and failed to display any kind of physical affection. Her mother did not know how to nurture a child at her most formative stages. Bennett grew up with verbal and physical abuse from a woman who cared more about being right and being in control at all times.
There is so much more potential to Raised By a Narcissist. I was struck by how short and not sweet this book turned out. It dropped bombshells (“I was raped”) and moved on without fanfare. The book ended much sooner than I expected. The premise is brilliant: each chapter begins with an intelligent quote and ends with the lesson learned. Each chapter has the potential to show the reader more personal growth and healing. I use the word potential because Bennett’s stories about her mother are disjointed and confusing at times. For example, she tells the story of going to a church party and getting drunk but does not share what happened next. Because it was an audio book, I rewound the section a couple of times to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
I would have liked to learn more about Bennett as a person. I was hoping for a deeper connection with her as a survivor of trauma. While I shared similar battles with my mother, her story would have carried even more weight had I been able to get to know her better.
Confessional: there is a workbook that came with the audio. I have yet to crack it open.

Do One Thing Different

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O’Hanlon, Bill. Do One Thing Different. New York: William Morrow and Company, 1999.

Confessional: I didn’t read this book word for word, cover to cover. To say that I browsed is inaccurate. To say that I skimmed might be closer to the truth.

I like the idea of doing one thing differently. Pick a habit, any habit and you can change it according to Dr. Bill. In the very first chapter his advice is simple: identify a pattern you would like to change. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant the offending routine. Once you have identified the pattern, scrutinize it. Analyze it within an inch of its life. Be observant and get to know every detail of what you do and just how you do it. Then, change one thing. Just one little thing. It could be how you put on your socks or how you hold a toothbrush, if that is part of the offending pattern. Just change one thing related to the pattern and you will have broken the cycle. Seems simple enough, right? Or how about this approach? Connect something negative to the offending action. Say you want to stop picking your nose (note: NOT an actual example of O’Hanlon’s). Okay, so back to the nose picking. For every time you pick you nose you must an equally abhorred task, like cleaning the hair out of the shower trap. If you hate dredging up slimy, stringy, soap-scummed hair THAT much, you will stop picking your nose. O’Hanlon’s techniques and examples of these techniques actually working are far more interesting than my description. You just have to read the book.

Sex So Great

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Keesling, Barbara. Sex So Great She Can’t Get Enough. Lanham: M Evans, 2012.

Before you start scratching your head and thinking I’ve lost my mind let me say but one thing: yes, I am reviewing a sex book for men. Call me a raging feminist but as a woman I had something to prove by requesting this book from the Early Review program. LibraryThing called my bluff and here I am. I want to believe I can review any book and that I’m not restricted by my gender or narrow mind. When asking for books to review I don’t want to be limited by genre or preference. I think I am capable of taking any subject matter and giving it a fair shake – MY fair shake. I also requested Sex So Great to play devil’s advocate. What if a man is too shy to buy such a book? What if a guy is just the opposite, too egotistical to believe he needs such a book? Either spectrum of a man’s ego could deter him from furthering a sexual education with Dr. Keesling. What if I dated a man and knew he needed the good doctor’s help? Could I buy the book, translate her knowledge into my own words and garner a better sex life for myself in the process? Not exactly. This is a book primarily written TO men with one curious section for women discussing vaginal shaving. (As a side note, what’s a man supposed to do? Hand the book over and say, “here honey, this part is for you”? So, having said all that let’s turn to Sex So Great She Can’t Get Enough.

I want to commend Barbara Keesling for her calm, gentle, and understanding (and sometimes humorous) manner with which she writes. You can tell immediately by the language she uses and the tone she conveys that she is has expertise when talking to people about sensitive subjects, not just men about sex. She is super careful not to offend. Let’s face it, men are sensitive about their private parts. As a woman, you can never call him “little” or “wimpy.” Leave that up to him. Self degradation is completely acceptable. Based on Keesling’s writing style I would say she is a good therapist and her other books (at the least the ones related to sex) are equally approachable. Sex So Great is mostly common sense advice that would sound just silly coming from my mouth. Keesling exaggerates the vulnerability and timidness of a woman to prove a point. Every moment a man makes must be slow and thoughtful. He could easily frighten his woman away. That’s not entirely true, but I get it.
Don’t get me know. Sex So Great had it’s educational moments for me, too. For instance, I never knew men should exercise their pubococcygeus muscle or practice a series of breathing routines for improved sex.
So. In the end, could I read the book and pass along the information to my lover? Some of it, sure. But like trying to give myself a foot massage it won’t be as effective and it certainly won’t feel as good.