Wiley-Smith, Christopher. In His Absence: A Brother, A Life, and What Endures. 2026.
Reason read: As a member of LibraryThing since 2006 I occasionally get to review amazing books for their Early Review Program. This is definitely one such book.
Christopher starts In His Absence by explaining the why of his story. Not only as a way to express grief, but a way to keep his brother Alex, alive in his memories. By sharing Alex’s biography Christopher’s brother is still with him and by default, all of us…even as strangers.
From an early age, Alex had a deep sense of mistrust. Maybe it started with the neighbor who passed away when the brothers were really young. Or maybe it was the father with anger issues which could flare up at any time and often without warning. It seems probable that their parents contentious and sometimes violent divorce had a hand in Alex’s troubled childhood; the dissolvement of the relationship was threatening enough to involve a restraining order. Maybe the drama was one of the reasons Alex resorted to physical violence that went beyond the typical dust-up between brothers; smashing rotary phones into his brother’s face or spraying him with mace. No matter the origin of Alex’s troubles, they only increased as he got older.
Even as Alex moved into adulthood and was making a name for himself in the tech industry his demons relentlessly stalked him. It just goes to show you how someone could have an outward appearance of success but actually be failing on the inside. Thoughts of suicide whispered until they became a scream of reality. This is a well-written but heartbreaking story.
As an aside, Wiley-Smith tells the story of a neighbor who passed away. Later in the story Wiley-Smith’s mother takes in another elderly neighbor who ends up dying in their home. Are these one and the same women? Another headscratcher was the trial about this selfsame neighbor. Wiley-Smith testified to the woman’s last will and testament but I missed the outcome somehow.
Book trivia: I was pleasantly surprised by the plethora of photographs barely ten pages into In His Absence. An added bonus is that a great deal of the photos are in color. I am not sure why, but I took the number of photographs as a sign that Wiley-Smith had nothing to hide.
There is a little repetition with a paragraph on page 144. The same paragraph is printed twice. Same for pages 220 and 242.
Music: “Happy Birthday,” MC Hammer, “Be Careful Little Eyes,” Paula Abdul, “Jesus Loves Me,” “This Little Light Of Mine,” “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Motley Crue’s “Doctor Feelgood,” Lady Gaga, Usher, Tupac Shakur, Cold, Korn,
Confessional: Wiley-Smith remembers the sting of losing an X-Wing fighter to another kid. When I was of a similar age I picked the wrong hand holding a rope bracelet. To this day, not winning the bracelet stings.
Deeper confessional: I think I could talk grief with Wiley-Smith. I share the same philosophy that remembrance is an act of devotion. I adore someone two years departed. I never do this. they say there is a first time for everything. This is my remembrance of Nash:
This is How I Remember
If I order your favorite food it is because I want to have another meal with you.
I will always remember how you take your coffee.
If I wear your cast-off clothes it is because I want another hug.
I will always remember being in the warmth of your rib-cracking arms.
If I want to spend time with your family it is because I want to see the resemblance.
Will I catch a glimpse of you?
I will always remember your smile.
If I listened to your music it is because I might hear you sing.
I will always remember the laughter in the lyrics.
If I talk about you it is my ways of keeping your memory alive.
If I talk about you I hope the listener will let me go on and on and on.
This is how I remember you.
And remember you, I will. Always.
~*LunaSea*~ 