Stewart, Tony. Carrying the Tiger: a Memoir: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy While Grieving. West End Books, 2025.
Reason read: As a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I occasionally hit upon poignant books that stay with me long after I have read the last word. This is one such book.
Just by the title of the book, you know the subject matter is going to be hard to read. The subtitle “Dying with Grace” pretty much tells you that someone does not survive cancer. And so, almost begrudgingly, you steel yourself for a tough time of it. Tough time, it most certainly was. At times I found myself asking why I was so affected. I don’t know Tony or Lynn at all. Except, the more I read, I felt like I did. Tony’s words were so intimate and honest. Even beyond the unfathomable sadness, quite unexpectedly I ended up laughing, getting angry, and caring. Chapter by chapter, page by page – laughing, getting angry, crying, and caring. Over and over again. Full confessional: I had to read this in fits and starts. Sitting with Stewart’s words for long periods of time was difficult for me to do. I’m still not 100% finished.
Carrying A Tiger starts on a Sunday in September in 2014. Lynn had been feeling ill on and off for two months and on this particular Sunday she learned why. This was the first time the couple learned something was terribly and terminally wrong. For the next six years Stewart (and his wife) bravely shared every part of the couple’s journey through cancer. The intimacy through words is astounding.
As an aside, the title of the book comes from Tai Chi. There is a gesture of scooping low as if to collect a tiger to put him as far away as possible. The further away, the more he is perceived to be small and of little consequence. I have to wonder if Tai Chi is a common prescription for cancer patients. My OM had a bunch of videos found in her collection after her death from a brain tumor and my coworker mentioned Tai Chi while she was going through chemo.
As another aside, I had an ah-ha moment while reading Carrying the Tiger. Tony wrote about “…downplaying painful details” so that friends would not abandon them. Maybe that is what happened with J. Maybe when I shared the awful month when OM died it was TMI and so they ghosted me. I said too much.
As a third aside, Tony’s description of “Covid-19 times” brought back memories. When he described people banging on pots and pans to honor the healthcare workers I remembered my drummer friend who religiously drummed every night at 7pm from his Brooklyn window.
Author fact: Tony Stewart is not a writer by trade. He began his foray into a relationship with words when he kept a journal on CaringBridge.org. The words did not stop just because Lynn was no longer with him. The words became this book.
Book trivia: I was surprised to see color photographs. How lovely.
As an aside, I am a fan of anyone who quotes e.e. cummings.
Confessional: I need to know if Stewart has seen “After Life” written by and starring Ricky Gervais?
~*LunaSea*~ 