Tag: women

Best Girlfriends Getaways

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Bond, Marybeth. Best Girlfriends Getaways Worldwide. Washington, DC: National Geographic, 2008.

I am thrilled I got this book to review. Not because I plan to jet off to Africa next week (because I’m not), and not because I even remotely consider myself a worldly traveler (definitely not), but because this book allowed me to imagine the possibilities. Written in such a style that seem to say go for it! Written in such a way that I started imagining some of my best female friends on such adventures with me. All of the information zeros in on what women would find interesting and worthwhile without making it seem too Sex in the City and cliche.
If I were to complain about any one aspect of Best Girlfriends it would be the organization of information. While I loved having such chapters as “Cosmopolitan Cities” (p 39) and “Floating Fantasies” (p 191) I would have loved all things France in one chapter, all things Spain in another. It’s one of those chicken-egg questions. Which comes first when it comes to travel, the location or the activity? I don’t know many people who chose their garden walk (p 211) before the country they would travel to.
Probably the best feature to Best Girlfriends is the wealth of information. Each chapter is organized into where to eat, where to stay, how to get there, points of interest, how to prepare for the trip, even events to fly in for. So much information on every page and not just about the destination, either. Tips on what to pack, how to stay safe, different aromatherapy oils, best luggage options, to name a few.
In addition to having interesting chapters Bond includes great first hand accounts of other women and their travels. Those stories were what really got me thinking about a trip with my mother, my oldest friend. The only information I would not heed is prices. What Bond quotes today might be completely different tomorrow. It is in her best interest to leave that information out and let the travelers research that when it’s time to get away.

The Way Men Act

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Way Men ActLipman, Elinor. The Way Men Act. New York: Washington Square Press, 1992.

 I had to laugh when I wrote out the title of this blog. Yet another one that could be misconstrued as something juicy and personal. I guess I could write a whole dissertation on the way men act towards me, but that wouldn’t be the book review that this is intended to be.

Elinor Lipman celebrates a birthday in October so it was only appropriate that I try to squeeze in a novel of hers in the last days of the dying month. I have met Lipman before (at a local conference) so it was no surprise to discover The Way Men Act takes place in “my” town. While thinly veiled as somewhere else it was easy to recognize the landmarks and quirks that make up where I live. I have to admit that made reading The Way Men Act a little difficult. The entire time I pictured real store fronts, real schools, real people.
All in all I breezed through this book because it was a simple read. The kind of chick lit you crawl in the bath with and can read in one soak. The plot isn’t complicated, only fun fun fun, the way chick lit is supposed to read. Lipman’s heroine, Melinda LeBlanc returns home to Harrow. She has mixed feelings about being back where she grew up as if being home implies she didn’t make it in the real world. She comes back (single at 30) to work in her cousin’s flower shop. Her job is sandwiched between two other come-home-again classmates from high school: Libby, a fashion designer with her own shop, and Dennis, a wiz at tying flies for fishing for his own shop. In addition to being hung up on being home, Melinda has issues with educational status (Harrow is a snobby college town and she only has a high school degree) and of course, men. The ending was predictable. Melinda is too talented to be working for someone else, and yes, she’s gets the guy.

Favorite line: “Could a man hate me that strenuously that the weight of it would flip itself over and come up again as love?” (p 49)
I flagged other lines only to realize it wasn’t the wording I admired so much. It was Melinda’s relationship with her mother. Every scene had me envious of their obvious closeness.

BookLust Twist: Mentioned twice in Book Lust once in the chapter “Elinor Lipman: Too Good To Miss (p 146), and “My Own Private Dui” (p 165).  The latter chapter begs an explanation: Pearl has her own classification system for her books and The Way Men Act falls under the category of “books I reread when I’m feeling blue” (p 166).

Yellow Raft in Blue Water

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Yellow raft in blue waterDorris, Michael. A Yellow Raft in Blue Water. New York: Warner Books, 1987.

This is high school to me. I remember being holed up somewhere reading this nonstop. Hot off the press, freshly published and oh so new I couldn’t put it down. I reread it and reread it until finally I could move on to other Michael Dorris creations, which somehow were never quite as good. Nothing compared to A Yellow Raft in Blue Water back then and it is still a faovrite to this day.

Someone described this book as an onion, reading it was like peeling back the layers of a story, and while that imagery is accurate enough, I like to think of Yellow Raft as a game of telephone. First, there is Rayona. She tells the story from her perspective. She is all of fifteen years old…at that difficult age where rebellion against your mother is the easiest thing to do. As she says, “when mom and I have conversations, they mostly involve subjects not personal to our lives” (p 26). She tells her story like it’s the honest truth. Then, there is Christine, her alcoholic mother, and her story. In the beginning you want to hate her for how seemingly unfair she had been to Rayona. But, learning about Christine’s heartbreak you realize Rayona’s reality is only her perception. The wires of communication have been crossed and in some cases, completely disconnected. Christine had her reasons for everything she did (and didn’t do). “I never had been good company for myself” says Christine (p 185). Finally, there is Ida, Christine’s mother. Her story is, by far, the most revealing and tragic. Everything you heard whispered from Rayona through Christina is trapped in the warped truth of Ida. All three women are stubborn, flawed by fate, and determined to make the best of life as they know it even if it means coming off as cruel to others. Being on the inside, privy to their hearts, makes you want to shake each one screaming, “talk to your daughter!”

Favorite lines:
“Ghosts were more lonesome than anything else. They watched the living through a thick plate of glass, a one-way mirror” (p176).
“A bath brought me peace, made me float free” (p340).

BookLust Twist: In both Book Lust and More Book Lust. In Book Lust Pearl mentions A Yellow Raft in Blue Water early; on page 23 in the chapter “American Indian Literature.” In the chapter “Men Chanelling Women” (p 166) in More Book Lust Pearl adds A Yellow Raft in Blue Water because Michael Dorris does an amazing job setting the voices of three very different women free.

Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood

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Wells, Rebecca. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. New York: Penguin, 1996.Divine Secrets

This is Rebecca Well’s second novel, a follow up to Little Alters Everywhere. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood continues the story of Vivi Abbott Walker and her friends (known as the Ya-yas), this time through the eyes of her adult, engaged-to-be-married, daughter, Siddalee Walker. Siddalee is a flourishing theater director who falls victim to the ever-famous, word-twisting interview. A reporter from the New York Times gets Siddalee to open up her childhood box of memories and reveal dark secrets about her upbringing. Ultimately, her mother’s alcoholism and abuse are exposed and Siddalee must spend the rest of the book apologizing to her mother for the scandal. When Siddalee calls off her engagement the Ya-Yas brazenly step in. In an effort to make her daughter understand who she is, Vivi mails her daughter a scrapbook and we are taken into the wonderous, playful yet dark world of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
Ultimately, I identified with this story. It’s the classic yet complex struggle between mother and daughter. Secrets revealed, hearts broken, lives changed. In the end, happiness and love prevail. I know you’ve seen the movie.

BookLust Twist: Divine Secrets comes up a couple of times in Book Lust. First, on page 83 in the chapter “Family Trouble” then in the chapter called “Women’s Friendships” (p 248).

Reading Lolita in Tehran

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Reading lolitaNafisi, Azar. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books. New York: Random House, 2004.

The first thing I think as I am 13 chapters into Reading Lolita in Tehran is maybe, just maybe I should have read Lolita first. Yet, it is not just about Lolita. It’s also about Gatsby, Daisy Miller and Pride & Prejudice. Those, I have read. But, these four books are not the only ones Nafisi recommends. There is a whole list of them. I am tempted to start another challenge and add them to my “must read” list.

But, back to Reading Lolita in Tehran. Where do I start? Blanketing the entire story (nonfiction) is the outrage I felt. Professor Azar Nafisi must secretly meet with seven students to study Western classics, books that are forbidden in the Islamic Republic of Iran. I don’t know how they dared. Morality squads roamed the streets, raiding homes and shops whenever they wanted, fundamentalists took over the university where Nafisi formally taught, women are arrested for not wearing the veil, being seen in public with men other than their husbands, brothers or fathers, for wearing makeup…It just reminds me I am a spoiled Westerner who can paint my eyes black as night, show the curve of my neck, and most importantly, read any book I want.
Think of a braid. One strand is politics, another literature, the last society. This is Reading Lolita in Tehran. Woven over and under and throughout is Azar Nafisi’s life. Her personal views on relationships, society and of course, the books she loves. Because it’s her point of view and hers alone we have to trust that she is telling us the truth. Her truth. Here are my favorite quotes – some with my commentary after.

“Reality has become so intolerable, she said, so bleak, that all can paint now are the colors of my dreams” (p 11).
“I think I somehow felt that as long as I was conscious, nothing bad could happen, that bad things would come in the middle of my dreams” (p 45).
“Some people take up alcohol during periods of stress. I took up Jeff” (106).
“In the midst of gunshots and chants we hugged and chatted about the almost two decades since we had last seen each other” (p 148).
“The administration wanted us to stop working and at the same time pretend that nothing has changed” (p 151). ** I’m reminded of a relationship I once had when the entrapment was the same. **
If I turned towards books, it was because they were the only sanctuary I knew, one I needed in order to survive, to protect some aspect of myself that was now in constant retreat” (p 170).
I became more anxious. Until then I had worried for the safety of my parents, husband, brother and friends, but my anxiety for my children overshadowed all” (170). ** I thought of my sister when I read this line. I think she would agree. **

Random comments~ I want someone to explain these things to me. How someone can be pompous and meek at the same time; how someone can speak precisely and leisurely; and how someone can murmur a defiant no. Just odd descriptors in my opinion.

BookLust Twist: From More Book Lust and the chapter called “Me, Me, Me: Autobiographies and Memoirs” (p 162). I would say Nafisi’s story is a chapter of a memoir; a partial snapshot of a life.

Bastard out of Carolina

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Bastard out of CarolinaAllison, Dorothy. Bastard out of Carolina. New York: Penguin, 1993.

The only way I can describe how I felt after finishing Bastard is raw. Raw and used up. Maybe it’s because this is my second time reading it. Maybe it’s because I reread this in two days. I don’t know. There are a thousand different ways to describe the book itself: coming of age, looking for acceptance, southern, white trash poverty, motherhood gone by the wayside. It’s a nightmare of a mother loving a cruel stepfather (Pearl calls him “violent and predatory”) more than her own daughter. I could go on and on but that would only ruin the depression. Oddly enough, I loved it. I loved Bone’s defiant voice as she tried to make her way through life as the oldest daughter of young mother Anney. I loved her keen observance of her surroundings, “It was dangerous, that heat. It wanted to pour out and burn everything up, everything they had that we couldn’t have, everything that made them think they were better than us” (p 103).
The social commentary on men and women, men against women was poignant, too. “A man belongs to the woman who feeds him…the woman belongs to the ones she feeds” (p 157).

BookLust Twist: Bastard out of Carolina is mentioned twice in Nancy Pearl’s Book Lust. First, in the chapter called “Grit Lit” (p 106), and then in the chapter simply called “Southern Fiction” (p 222).

pps~ I was wondering if this was ever made into a movie and it has…back in 1996. Where have I been?

Second Sex – Failed

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Second sexde Beauvoir, Simone. The Second Sex. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1971.

Okay, I admit it. I got two paragraphs into the translator’s preface then skipped to the author’s introduction. There, I got as far as page v . Mind you, the introduction starts on page v. Then, I skipped to chapter one, got as far as paragraph three where I promptly fell asleep. I couldn’t get a single page entirely read. Not a one. Here and now I’m evoking the BookLust 50 page rule and admiting defeat with The Second Sex (see Book Lust Rules). Women everywhere hate me now for what I’m about to say.

I am not a diehard feminist. I have strong beliefs in what a woman can and can’t do. I’ve said before that women are more cerebral than men. They frequently change their minds, then change them back again. This makes them flighty, indecisive. Not exactly the type of person I would want in combat. The ability to drive a car? Please, don’t even get me started! I could go on, but I don’t think I can take the hate mail.
My second reason for not wanting to finish (or even properly start) Second Sex is the fact that it was written in 1952 (from a treatise written three years earlier, in 1949). Much has changed for women since that time. We’re more accepted in the corporate world, the political realm & even the far reaches of outer space. It’s becoming more acceptable for women to be the bread winners while their husbands stay at home with the kids. One might argue that reading Second Sex would be good from a historical standpoint. True, but I’m just not that interested in standing in that light.
My third reason for not reading Second Sex is purely a selfish one. The book is long – over 750 pages! I just don’t see myself devoting my entire summer vacation to something that reads like a textbook.

BookLust Twist: From More Book Lust in the chapter, “I Am Woman – Hear Me Roar” (p 120). Pearl calls de Beauvoir a pioneer  of the women’s movement. I’ll take her word for it.

Note: This makes the seventh book I have given up on since starting the Book Lust Challenge.

The Awakening (w/ spoiler)

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AwakeningChopin, Kate. The Awakening. New York: New American Library, 1976.

If I had a tag for “feminism” this book would be under it. Actually, it’s more of a long short story than a book. Only 125 pages long Kate Chopin tells the story of discontented, tragic Edna Pontellier. A wife and a mother she is dutiful as both until a younger man awakens her inner rebel and sex goddess. You can see it start slowly when she states, “I feel this summer as if I were walking thrugh the green meadow again; idly, aimlessly, unthinking and unguided” (p. 17). It grows stronger when she disobeys her husband, “Another time she would have gone in at his request” (p. 33). Finally, the ultimate of rebellion reaches its peak when she is seduced by another man, Arobin. “He did not say goodnight until she had become supple to his gentle, seductive entreaties” (p. 100).

BookLust Twist: While Pearl doesn’t think anything really happened with Edna (” …poor Edna Pontellier…who doesn’t actually do anything but suffers the consequences anyway.” More Book Lust, Wayward Wives p 232), I strongly disagree. What Edna doesn’t do is be a good mother to her kids (they’re shipped off while she pretends to be an artist), or a good wife. She moved out of their home while hubby’s away. He’s left making excuses to save face (said the house was being renovated and that’s why his wife took up another residence).

In the end Edna commits suicide. She knows she’s not a good mother. She knows she isn’t a faithful wife. She can’t have the man who truly awakened her sexuality. Trapped in a life she cannot conform to she walks into the sea never to emerge.