When I was a kid Kenny Rogers was cool. More than cool. His ‘Coward of the County’ was king. His ‘Gambler’ was even cooler than that. I didn’t know much about gambling, the card playing kind. But, I knew about taking risks. Or, as Natalie says, “taking dares with yes.” I stretched my safety to the limits, kicked at the walls of my comfort zone all the time. It’s the only way I knew how to be. If there was a line to walk I wobbled just outside of it. Teetered on the edge of trouble. I think I was so terrible because I couldn’t get attention. Not the kind I craved. The line “when to hold ’em” was always “when to hold ME” in my mind. And I lived by the options of walking or running away. Did it all the time. If it wasn’t a physical move-to-a-new-state-no-forwarding-address kind of move it was an I Need To End This Relationship Right Now kind of running away. Shutting down, kicking someone out. Let me leave you before you leave me. Allow me to hurt myself before you do it for me. Walking or running I was always leaving someone or something.
As an adult here’s what bothers me about Kenny’s song. He says “Know when to walk away, know when to run.” Well, what about staying? Wasn’t that ever an option in his world or mine? Just sitting right there, not flinching a muscle. Not twitching a lip. Doing absolutely nothing. Being braver than brave for not bolting. I don’t get it or me. Wasn’t I stronger than that? I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer to that. Really.
~*LunaSea*~ 
Tough one… very tough one to know the answer to. There’s a time to stay and to try. Then there’s a time to definitely get the heck out of Dodge!!! Don’t beat yourself up for bolting. Sometimes it is the ONLY survival instinct that is right for some.
Here is another thought… perhaps some of us trust too easily and get into relationships too easily and then find out, after we realize we went against our better judgement and tried our best but failed. xoxoxo
AS always, you have some interesting insights. I always see things a little differently after you comment. Thank you!
From where I sit and watch things, I would say that you’ve sat there not flinching plenty of times in life. Chose your battles. Stood your ground. Whether or not you recognize that in yourself, I’ve seen you do it. Quite a stubborn little thing, you are 😉