Tag: memoir

Silence, Not for Sale

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Humphreys, April. Silence, Not for Sale. Publish Nation, 2025.

Reason read: I am a member of the Early Review program for LibraryThing. Every so often, I review a book that touches my heart. This is one such book.

Humphreys begins her story on a gray November day. The November sky outside my window matched hers when I sat down to read Silence, Not for Sale. Confessional: I had no idea that those details would not be the only similarities between us. It took me twice as long to read Silence, Not for Sale because of that fact.
Humphreys takes her reader back to December 1962, back when it all began in early childhood. For a victim of incest to come clean in such an honest and open way, Humphreys demonstrated courage in a way few people are capable. To relive childhood living nightmares is heroic. In addition to navigating a history of sexual abuse, Humphreys had to come to terms with a less than sympathetic mother and sister. Time and time again, Humphreys recalls stories of her mother’s callous and narcissistic nature. It is no secret that families are complicated, no matter their history. When family members refuse to recognize the trauma, or worse, accept their part in it, victims are slow to heal. Humphreys is no different, taking decades to sort out her grief. She had to make significant sacrifices in the name of self preservation. I applaud her courage.
Confessional: when Humphreys started to name all of the siblings of her parents and other family members I questioned if it was necessary to know all twenty-five of them?. Did I need to know them by name – Ernie, Betty, Brenna, Rose, Joan, Les, Lil, Alex, Jules, Sandra, Flo 1, Lily, Jack, Bob, Don, Flo 2, Pat, June, Bill, Elaine, Teddy, Jerry, Rose, Don, Larry, Tom, Troy, Richard, Sarah, Rachel, Grace, Nan, and Bet?

As an aside, did Humphreys want the reader to think she was crafting a suicide note? I certainly considered that until she said she had her husband print out copies of her letter to mail.

Confessional: my father was not around when I was born. When he was presented with a photograph of me soon after birth he commented that I resembled a shriveled prune. I call my partner my knight in shining armor, too. I did not learn to drive until I was twenty-five years old. There are other similarities that I will not get into here.

Music: “Long Haired Lover” by Jimmy Osmond, and “The Sunshine of Your Smile.”

Mystic Nomad

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Knopp, Annette. Mystic Nomad: A Woman’s Wild Journey to True Connection. Monkfish Book Publishing, 2025.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program I get to read interesting books.

Annette shares a similar story to Elizabeth Gilbert. The entire time I was reading Mystic Nomad I was reminded of Eat, Love, Pray. Knopp spent eighteen months in India, Nepal, and Thailand searching for a way to quiet her mind. From intense meditation in an ashram to hiking in the mountains and taking classes in sculpture, Knopp tried looking within for peace. She even went to Australia to work in an opal mine. From there Knopp traveled to Japan, the United States, Costa Rica, and Peru. At thirty-two years old, she needed to come to terms with the relationship she had with the woman she called mother and more disturbing, her dependence on a predatory spiritual advisor. Her devotion to him was crippling, even after he caused her great pain. [As an aside, Annette’s relationship with Brian reminded me of Natalie Merchant’s song, “Seven Years.” When asked what the song was about all Miss Merchant would say was it was about a spiritual advisor who let her down.] Knopp’s path to self discovery was haunting and beautiful, full of joy and sorrow. She conquered obstacles and challenges while taking the time to soak up her surroundings.

Author fact: Annette Knopp has her own website here.

Book trivia: My e-version of Mystic Nomad did not have any photographs.

Music: Arthur Rubinstein, Beethoven, Sibelius, and Mozart.

Wild Oz

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Clodd, Geoff. Wild Oz: Hilariously Unfiltered Backpacking Stories. Independently Published, 2025.

Reason read: this is a selection from LibraryThing’s Early Review program.

I do not know exactly what I was expecting from Wild Oz but this turned out to be a much different adventure. I think the subtitle about backpacking made me think he would be roughing it a little more than he did in his Oz adventures. I also thought there would be more variation to his escapades, especially through Thailand. Australia was just a string of towns where Clodd got this drunk and banged that chick. His stories start and stop without fanfare. Like a giggling kid farting for attention Clodd will tell you about crashing his moped in Thailand or trying to eat a dozen ice cream cones. The year is 2008 and he has decided to travel with a friend to Australia and Thailand for a year or more.
As an aside, Clodd interrupts himself from time to time to tell Vegas stories. That makes sense because he sustained his meager financial existence on internet gambling. I have to admit the prostitute stealing a plate was pretty funny.
Sometimes I thought Wild Oz was written by a horny fourteen year old left alone in the house without his parents for the very first time. His command of slang was pretty extensive (“suck on that!”). Chasing temporary employment and bedding various women while juggling excessive drinking and drugging, Clodd was finicky about dirty hands and paranoid about skin cancer and going bald. I think I just summed up the entire book in this last paragraph.

Fun fact: my husband and I have this game during horror movie season where we try to count the dead bodies. Exactly how many people were murdered during Nightmare on Elm Street? Sometimes we turn it into a drinking game – a swig for every time someone dies. We should take turns reading Wild Oz aloud and take a glug every time Clodd has sex with a different woman. That could be fun.

As an aside, I want to know how often Geoff has had to say “two fs and two ds” when telling someone how to spell his name.

Book trivia: Clodd makes pop references that some people may or may not get. For example, I didn’t know who Screech and Zack were.

Author fact: Wild Oz is Clodd’s first and only book on LibraryThing.

Playlist: “Let’s Get It Started” by Black Eyed Peas, Creed, Outkast, “Rape Me” by Nirvana, Janet Jackson, and Wolfmother (which I have on my run playlist).

Stroke of Luck

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Aithal. A Stroke of Luck: My Journey Through a Traumatic Brain Injury. 2025.

Although Stroke of Luck meanders sometimes I truly enjoyed Aithal’s courageous memoir. Aithal is coming up on the 23rd anniversary of his stroke so it is fitting for him to look back at his long road to recovery. I appreciated his honesty, vulnerability, and determination. Every chapter of Aithal’s story was eye opening for me. Before reading Stroke of Luck I did not think about every element of life that has to be rebuilt beyond speech and other motor skills after a traumatic brain injury. Appropriate emotional reactions or driving a car, for example. As an aside, I practically cheered when Aithal got his license back. Stroke of Luck is proof positive that you can regain a full life after a traumatic brain injury with the right supports around you. My father did not survive his stroke at fifty-five years of age.
I wish my friend could have read this book. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and his biggest downfall was something Aithal cautioned against doing. He said do not compare your current abilities to what you could do before the stroke. As a drummer with decreased ability my friend sunk into a depression he could not fight. I wish Aithal could have convinced him it does not matter what you used to be able to do. Instead, concentrate on how far you have come since the stroke changed your life. Your life matters.

Author fact: Aithal has a blog here.

Book trivia: Aithal included sources if you want to learn more about the treatments he described. He also shared culturally detailed from his homeland in India.

Anything for a Quiet Life

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Hawkins, Jack and Andrew Hawkins. Anything For a Quiet Life.

Reason read: as part of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing I get to review really interesting books. This is one such book.

Anything for a Quiet Life was first published posthumously fifty-two years ago. Famed British actor Jack Hawkins had died of a complication with an artificial voice box implanted after throat cancer. Anything for a Quiet Life was Jack’s memoir about being an actor and going through cancer. From reading about his life one can tell he was a humble family man with four children who loved his second wife, Dee. It was one of his sons, Andrew, who wanted to bring his dad’s autobiography to the electronic age. If the purpose of republishing the book was to bring Jack’s legacy back, it worked. An unexpected interest in Jack’s career grew after I read Anything for a Quiet Life. I was four years old when he passed and until recently, had no interest in military movies as an adult. Now I plan to find Jack’s catalog and watch them all. My partner will be thrilled.

As an aside, I thought it was interesting that Jack thought he used his voice more strenuously than most people “except perhaps school teachers.” What about professional singers?

As an aside, did you know that the Thames River is a great place to find discarded furniture? You could outfit a whole flat on unwanted treasures.

Book trivia: the afterword was written by Jack’s wife, Dee.

Music: Chopin, and “Thora.”

African in Greenland

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Kpomassie, Michel-Tet. An African in Greenland. Harcourt Brace Janovich, 1983.

Reason read: August is the last month of freedom for students returning to school. Every once in awhile I chose a travel book to recognize this fact.

Before Kpomassie can tell you about his time in Greenland he needs to explain where his life began and all that Western Africa entails. To understand his culture you must first embrace his origin story.
Upon discovering a book about Greenland, Kpomassie became obsessed with traveling to that “other” green land. Kpomassie exhibited a great deal of patience – it took him six years just to make it out of West Africa. But he was also smart and ambitious. Being bilingual he was able to pay his way as he traveled. He had hopes of living with seal hunters, sleeping in igloos, and riding the sledge. He wanted the full experience. He got more than he bargained for in the northern Greenland village of Rodebay. Families too poor for groceries ate rabid dogs. Their bathroom was a bucket by the door for everyone to see. A father takes his son-in-law hunting so his daughter and Kpomassie can have four days of intimate alone time. Parents ignore their young son while he practices oral sex on his two year old brother. Dos are so hungry they attack and devour their master. When the community is not hunting or fishing, they are fall-down drunk. Besides culture, Kpomassie learned about the science of fashion; what it took to survive temperatures that reached forty or fifty below zero.
I did not expect to laugh while reading An African in Greenland but Kpomassie’s account of using the grease from a lizard to grow one’s penis was hilarious.

As an aside, animals and there shed blood is very important to tribal cultures. I saw it in The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down as well as An African in Greenland. The butchering of whales, seals, and even dogs was difficult to read.

Confessional: Kpomassie’s father had five wives and how the hierarchy within that system worked: who was intimate and for how long; who did the cooking and how other chores were parsed out. Polygamy was natural in Western Africa, yet Kpomassie found it hard to share a woman with another man in Greenland. Curious.

Author fact: Kpomassie is the first African to choose to live in Greenland, trading in one green continent for another.

Book trivia: I do not know why I feel this way, but the preface by Jean Malaurie is a little self-indulgent.

Music: the Beatles

BookLust Twist: from Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “Where On Earth Do These Books Belong?” (p 258). Armchair travel, maybe?

I Thought I Had You Forever

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Gary’s Mum. I Thought I Had You Forever. Publish Nation, 2025.

Reason read: As a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I often read books that grab my heart and do not let go. This is one such book.

Gary’s mum lost her son when he was just thirty years old. While on vacation in Portugal Gary went to sleep one night and never woke up. For the first fifty pages of I Thought I Had You Forever Gary’s mum does a great deal of soul searching. There is a brief and didactic interlude (about ten pages) about various religions: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Spiritualism, and Atheist.
I have always compared grief to fire. You cannot control grief just as you cannot control a fire that has burned out of control. Both are unpredictable and ever-changing. Just when you think you have grief (or fire) licked, something will trigger a flare up and the fight starts all over again. Grief can be a rollercoaster of up and down emotions. Grief can leave you drifting without purpose. Grief is the rudder, always determining your course of healing. Grief is searching. Where did you go? Where are you now?
Confessional: I am not a mother. I do not know the pain of losing a child in any capacity, yet I Thought I Had You Forever kept me up at night. We all grieve differently. Gary’s mum lost her ability to enjoy music for nearly five years while I clung to every note and melody and lyric to keep my missing alive. Gary’s mum didn’t listen to music for four years while I couldn’t play mine loud enough.

The lesson learned is grief is grief is grief is grief. It does not matter what the relationship. Losing someone is hard.

Author fact: Gary’s mum wrote I Thought I Had You Forever “from one mother to another.”

Music: “Buffalo Soldier,” John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, and David Bowie.

Raised by a Narcissist

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Bennett, Serena. Raised By a Narcissist: That Woman, AKA My Mother. Read by Jasmine Morentin.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I am privileged to read (or listen to) interesting books. This is one such story.

In March 2024 Serena Bennett decided she needed to tell her story in order to take her healing from childhood trauma to the next level. In addition to therapy, by writing a book, Bennett was able to confront truths that had been long-hidden. Her story could be considered tragic and yet there is an element of self-discovery and triumph; a phoenix rising from the ashes. She grew up with a mother who belittled, criticized, and failed to display any kind of physical affection. Her mother did not know how to nurture a child at her most formative stages. Bennett grew up with verbal and physical abuse from a woman who cared more about being right and being in control at all times.
There is so much more potential to Raised By a Narcissist. I was struck by how short and not sweet this book turned out. It dropped bombshells (“I was raped”) and moved on without fanfare. The book ended much sooner than I expected. The premise is brilliant: each chapter begins with an intelligent quote and ends with the lesson learned. Each chapter has the potential to show the reader more personal growth and healing. I use the word potential because Bennett’s stories about her mother are disjointed and confusing at times. For example, she tells the story of going to a church party and getting drunk but does not share what happened next. Because it was an audio book, I rewound the section a couple of times to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
I would have liked to learn more about Bennett as a person. I was hoping for a deeper connection with her as a survivor of trauma. While I shared similar battles with my mother, her story would have carried even more weight had I been able to get to know her better.
Confessional: there is a workbook that came with the audio. I have yet to crack it open.

Carrying the Tiger

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Stewart, Tony. Carrying the Tiger: a Memoir: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy While Grieving. West End Books, 2025.

Reason read: As a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I occasionally hit upon poignant books that stay with me long after I have read the last word. This is one such book.

Just by the title of the book, you know the subject matter is going to be hard to read. The subtitle “Dying with Grace” pretty much tells you that someone does not survive cancer. And so, almost begrudgingly, you steel yourself for a tough time of it. Tough time, it most certainly was. At times I found myself asking why I was so affected. I don’t know Tony or Lynn at all. Except, the more I read, I felt like I did. Tony’s words were so intimate and honest. Even beyond the unfathomable sadness, quite unexpectedly I ended up laughing, getting angry, and caring. Chapter by chapter, page by page – laughing, getting angry, crying, and caring. Over and over again. Full confessional: I had to read this in fits and starts. Sitting with Stewart’s words for long periods of time was difficult for me to do. I’m still not 100% finished.
Carrying A Tiger starts on a Sunday in September in 2014. Lynn had been feeling ill on and off for two months and on this particular Sunday she learned why. This was the first time the couple learned something was terribly and terminally wrong. For the next six years Stewart (and his wife) bravely shared every part of the couple’s journey through cancer. The intimacy through words is astounding.

As an aside, the title of the book comes from Tai Chi. There is a gesture of scooping low as if to collect a tiger to put him as far away as possible. The further away, the more he is perceived to be small and of little consequence. I have to wonder if Tai Chi is a common prescription for cancer patients. My OM had a bunch of videos found in her collection after her death from a brain tumor and my coworker mentioned Tai Chi while she was going through chemo.
As another aside, I had an ah-ha moment while reading Carrying the Tiger. Tony wrote about “…downplaying painful details” so that friends would not abandon them. Maybe that is what happened with J. Maybe when I shared the awful month when OM died it was TMI and so they ghosted me. I said too much.
As a third aside, Tony’s description of “Covid-19 times” brought back memories. When he described people banging on pots and pans to honor the healthcare workers I remembered my drummer friend who religiously drummed every night at 7pm from his Brooklyn window.

Author fact: Tony Stewart is not a writer by trade. He began his foray into a relationship with words when he kept a journal on CaringBridge.org. The words did not stop just because Lynn was no longer with him. The words became this book.

Book trivia: I was surprised to see color photographs. How lovely.

As an aside, I am a fan of anyone who quotes e.e. cummings.

Confessional: I need to know if Stewart has seen “After Life” written by and starring Ricky Gervais?

Housekeeper’s Secret

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Schnakenburg, Sandra. The Housekeeper’s Secret: a Memoir. She Writes Press, 2024.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing, I often get to read interesting books. This was one book I inhaled.

Sandra Schnakenburg has always been good with numbers so it seemed like a natural fit for her to become an accountant, but an author? That seems a little farfetched until you learn that her childhood housekeeper of thirty years had a dying wish for Schnakenburg to tell her life story. Then when you read the stories Schnakenburg has to tell about her housekeeper and friend, Lee Metoyer, it all makes sense. This is an important story that needs to be told for many reasons. Lee’s life was as incredible as it was tragic. However, Schnakenburg’s own upbringing is just as compelling. Hers is a story worth telling, too. She grew up in an affluent neighborhood in an extravagant house with five siblings. This was a household where someone had to feed the koi that lived in the pond under the grand staircase. Someone had to iron the bedroom linen. Someone had to line up seven different breakfast juices so that the man of the house could take his pick. The list goes on. Hidden behind the curtain of Schnakenburg’s perfect childhood hides abuse, corruption, and fear. The Housekeeper’s Secret is a story of survival and triumph on multiple levels.
Confessional: sometimes I noticed little inconsistencies. In Housekeeper’s Secret Schnakenburg’s timeline becomes a little skewed. She was six years old when her father took the family to Disneyland, but in the previous chapter she is seven. [Schnakenburg also gets Disneyland confused with Disneyworld. I do, too.] In another scene Metoyer’s cup is empty but she takes a sip of coffee.

Quote of a quote to quote: “There is always that one summer that changes you” -Beth Merlin. Amen to that. I was 23. I experienced the first summer romance of my life and then my father died.

Music: Elvis, “Happy Birthday”, “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”, Glenn Miller’s “When That Man is Dead and Gone”, “We Are Family”, and “Paper Doll” by the Mills Brothers.

Goodbye to a River

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Graves, John. Goodbye to a River: a Narrative. Alfred A. Knopf, 1960.

Reason read: June is National River Cleanup month. What better way to honor the event than by reading a book about a little known river called the Brazos?

The premise behind Goodbye to a River sounds like something I would do. When John Graves found out the state of Texas was going to dam parts of the Brazos River he decided to take a three week journey on the river of his childhood to say goodbye. Portions of the Brazos clearly reflected Graves’s childhood memories. Other times he reflects on the history, myths and legends of the region. At times he becomes philosophical, thinking of “Saint” Henry David Thoreau and “Prince” Ernest Hemingway, but more often he recounts tales of violence and racism: scalpings, hangings, raps, and murders indicative of the Comanche history of the region. He mentions Charles Goodnight from time to time. Occasionally, he interacts with locals he meets along the way, but most of the time he is alone with a dog he calls the passenger. My favorite parts was when Graves remembered the exact same trees he used to climb and the same beaches he used to build campfires on.
Did you know that October is the best month for traveling the Brazos for the weather is at its most pleasant?

As an aside, I would like to hear a canyon wren singing in harmony with her desert landscape.

Lines I loved, “You are not in a hurry there; you learned long since not to be” (p 3), “The silent air of ruin is fragile” (p 44), “Heights have that kind of humor” (p 126), and “One can get pretty literary on islands” (p 168).

Confessional: when I said Goodbye to a River reminded me of myself, here is what I meant. I was supposed to be paid off from the job I had had for over twenty years. Knowing the end was near, I spent four weeks saying goodbye to every corner that meant something to me.
As another aside, I am watching Only Murders in the Building (yes, I know it has been out for a while). Brazos makes me think of Steve Martin’s character.
As yet another aside, the mention of Alma-Tadema paintings reminded of Natalie’s interpretation of his daughter’s poem, “If No One Ever Married Me.”

Author fact: Graves taught “off and on” at Columbia and spent time wandering and writing (according to his biography).

Book trivia: the children’s version of Goodbye to a River was illustrated by Russell Waterhouse.

Playlist: “Annie Laurie”, Frank Sinatra, Ricky Nelson, “The Good Old Rebel”, “Beulah Land”, “Drink to Me Only”, “Flow Gently, Sweet Afton”, and “Rambling Wreck”.

BookLust Twist: from Book Lust in the chapter called “A River of Words” (p 201).

Two Years Before the Mast

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Dana, Jr., Richard Henry. Two Years Before the Mast: a Personal Narrative of Life at Sea. Fearon Publishers, 1971.

Reason read: June is Celebrate Oceans Month. Maybe that is a made up reason to read about the ocean, but I’m going with it because it is a good time to sail.

Two Years Before the Mast is the true story of Richard Henry Dana’s two years spent at sea first, on the brig “Pilgrim,” bound for California via coastal South America. Using his journal to write Two Years Before the Mast, one has to remember this is August 14th, 1834. Time before canals and motorized vessels. California was not part of the United States. In 1934, California was part of Mexico. As a Harvard student, bound for a career in law, Dana had to take a hiatus from his studies when an illness affected his eyesight. Doctors recommended some time away from the books to allow his eyes to rest. The brig “Pilgrim” is in the business of transporting animal hides and furs. Once on the “Pilgrim,” Dana quickly learned about life on the ocean on the fly: getting over seasickness, learning to push through fatigue, finding his sea legs. Once settled into a life at sea, Dana then had to desensitize himself to a tyrannical captain who flogged sailors ruthlessly and without provocation, long days of continuous work, and making the most of shore leave.
This is a great account of life at sea as well as in ports. As an aside, I had to laugh when Dana’s vessel could not get over a sandbar at low tide due to the unusually heavy load they were carrying. They had to wait until low tide in order to be released from the channel.

Lines I liked: said of San Francisco – “If California ever becomes a prosperous country, this bay will be the centre of its prosperity” (p 194).

Confessional: I have spent most of my life on the ocean so when Dana described dolphins swimming just a few feet below the surface of the water I could picture every color.

Author fact: Dana was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Book trivia: Two Years Before the Mast was illustrated by Dennis Dierks and my copy provided a biographical sketch by Dana’s grandson, H.W.L. Dana.

Playlist: “O Pescator”, “Onda”, “All in the Downs”, “Poor Tom Bowline”, “The Bay of Biscay”, “List, Ye Landsmen”, “Heave, to the Girls”, “Nancy O!”, “Jack Crosstree”, “Cheerily Men”, “All in the Downs”, “Poor Tom Bowline”, “The Bay of Biscay”, and “List, Ye Landsmen”.

BookLust Twist: from Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “See the Sea” (p 201).

No More Words

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Lindbergh, Reeve. No More Words:

Reason read: this was a gift from a new pen-pal I just started exchanging letters with this last December. Something in her holiday card compelled me to write her back and we have been communicating every since.

Everyone knows the author Anne Morrow Lindbergh. If they do not then they should! In the summer of 1999 she was ninety-three years old and living with her youngest child, Reeve. Reeve, at the time of No More Words, was a fifty-four mother sandwiched between caring for her elderly mother, being a wife, and raising a seventh grader son. She writes of this experience beautifully.
In a nutshell, No More Words is a poignant memoir. It was lovely of Reeve to quote her mother’s work at the beginning of every chapter, but she also included some of her sister’s poetry and a snippet of her father’s autobiography. Like a delicious cake studded with extra sweet strawberries, Reeve’s memoir is a treat of all the Lindbergh’s voices.
Maybe it is because I am of Reeve’s age when she lost her mother. Maybe it is because my own mother’s health keeps me up at night. Maybe it is the simple fact that I know nothing lasts forever, but No More Words became a primer for me on how to listen to your mother. I mean really listen. Reeve taught me how to remove the resentment and hurt and just be. Reeve travels beyond correcting and criticizing to compassion and calm. I only hope I have that same grace when it is my turn.

Confessional: I had Reeve in my head when my mother telephoned last weekend. She can go months without speaking to me so when, after only four weeks, she said we hadn’t spoken for awhile I almost felt combative. Taking a deep breath, I let the comment pass and instead listened to her babble on about 1920 sausage-making methods, chimpanzees in space, and pheasants in the yard. How many of these moments will I have left?

Favorite takeaway (and there many): the chant of right here, right now set to breath in and out.

Book trivia: each new chapter begins with a quote from something Anne Morrow Lindbergh has published, either in a college paper or in a book.

Music: “Wabash Cannonball”, “Winter Wonderland”, Bach, Handel, Mozart, and Andres Segovia.

Stagehand

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Aretsky, David H. Stagehand: a Backstage Pass to My Life Stories. BookBaby, 2024.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program for LibraryThing I occasionally get to review pretty interesting books. This is one of them (set to be published on April 4th, 2025).

Shame on me for judging a book by it’s title. I seriously thought this would be a peek behind the stage curtain of a career in music. No-name songwriters or big time musicians, I did not care which. Aretsky did not need to kiss and tell or name names (although for a bunch of stories, he does). I just wanted to hear about a life in the music industry from backstage. I know someone in the industry so I know how hard it is. In truth, there are a few chapters here and there about his career in entertainment, more towards the end, but for the most part, Stagehand is one man’s lament over losing the love of his life. Aretsky has been in the entertainment industry for over forty years, but it is about the eighteen year relationship with his Ex that he really wants to talk about. In truth, the stories are great. Aretsky is a natural storyteller, but the timeline is chaotic and the stories pinball around the various chapters. 1982 snuggles up to 2001 then jumps to 2019 and back to the 1990s again. It was hard to follow at times. In addition to the stories bouncing from decade to decade, they go from roommate to roommate, relationship to relationship, exotic adventure to exotic adventure. At various times I wanted to draw a timeline, just so I could make sense of what Aretsky wanted to say about his life thus far. My takeaways were: he enjoys going to the gym and staying physical fit; he has a myriad of female friends, and he moved around a lot in his younger years. And then there was the Ex…

Confessional: when David said he could write a book about his time with “Larry” I thought to myself that is the book I thought Stagehand would be. He mentioned wanting to write another book. My only advice would be to organize the stories a little more.

Setlist: As to be expected, there is a great deal of music mentioned! AC/DC, Alabama, Annie Lennox, Art Garfunkel, B-52s, “Back to the Cave”, Bad Religion, Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, “Beauty and the Beast”, “Beauty School Dropout”, Bette Midler, Billy Idol, Billy Joel, Blue Oyster Cult, Bobby Brown, Bonnie Raitt, “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”, Bret Michaels, Brian Wilson, Bruce Springsteen, Captain & Tennille, Celine Dion, “Chances Are”, Cheap Trick, Cher, Chaka Khan, Chicago, Chick Corea, Chubby Checker, “Chuck E.’s in Love”, Clint Black, Cole Porter, “Cryin'”, the Crystals’ “Da Do Ron Ron”, Crystal Gayle, Dale Kristien, Darlene Love, Devo, Dionne Warwick, “Do You Know the Way to San Jose?”, Dolly Parton, Donna Summer, “Don’t Be Cruel”, Dred Zeppelin, Edgar Winter, Elton John, Elvis Presley, Eminem, Emmy Lou Harris, Eric Burdon & the Animals, Eurythmics’ “Let’s Go”, “When Tomorrow Comes”, and “Missionary Man”, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”, “Everything Your Heart Desires”, “Forever in My Life”, Foreigner, Four Italian Tenors, Frank Sinatra, Frankie Avalon, GBH, Gene Simmons, “Sugar Magnolia” by the Grateful Dead, “Girls and Boys”, Gladys Knight, Guns N’ Roses, GWAR, Hall & Oates, Hank Ballard and the Midnighters’ “the Twist”, “Housequake”, Harry Belafonte, “He Has a Headlock on My Heart”, “Heaven Knows”, “I Want to Take You Higher”, “I Say a Little Prayer”, Iggy Pop, “I’ll Take You There”, Itzhak Perlman, “Irresistible Bitch”, “I’ve Got You Under My Skin”, Jackie Evancho, Jerry Lee Lewis’ “Great Balls of Fire”, , Joan Jett, Jody Watley, John Entwistle, Johnny Cash, Johnny Mathis, Judy Garland, Kiss, “Last Time I Felt Like This”, “Love and Happiness”, Lea Salonga, Led Zeppelin, Linda Ronstadt, Lita Ford’s “Close My eyes Forever”, “Love Will Keep Us Together”, Madame X, Mariachi La Reyna de Los Angeles, Mariachi Sol de Mexico, Megadeth, Melissa Manchester, the Mentors”, Merle Haggard, Metallica, Michael Jackson, Mick Jagger, Miles Davis, “Misty”, “Mother Popcorn”, Motorhead, Mr. Big, “My Prerogative”, Natalie Cole, Neil Sedaka, New Edition, “O Sole Mio”, Oleta Adams, “On the Edge of a Broken Heart”, “Only Women Bleed”, “Out of Touch”, Ozzy Osbourne, Pat Travers, Paul Anka, Pebo Bryson, Peter, Paul and Mary, Phantom, Rocker & Slick’s “Men Without Shame”, “Piece of Me”, the Plasmatics, Poison, the Police’s “Roxanne”, Preservation Hall Jazz Band”, Prince, Quiet Riot, the Ramones, Randy Newman, Randy Rhoads, Ratt, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Regina Bell, Rickie Lee Jones, Robert Plant, the Ramones, Robin Trower, the Rolling Stones, Ronnie James Dio, Rubin Studdard, the Runaways, Sam Kinison, Sammy Davis Jr., “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, Sebastian Bach, Sex Pistols, “Sex of It”, “Shake for the Sheik”, Sheila E., “Ship of Fools”, Skid Row, Slayer, Smokey Robinson, Social Distortion, “Star-Spangled Banner”, Stevie Wonder, Stryper, “Sweet Thing”, “Tall Cool One”, Temptations, “That’s What Friends are For”, Tom Jones, Tony Bennett, Tony Orlando, the Troggs’ “Wild Thing”, the Tubes, UFO, Vixen, Warrant, Was (Not Was)’s “Are You Okay?”, Wayne Newton, White Snake, Whitney Houston, the Who, “Whole New World”, “Wild, Wild West”, Winger, Wynonna, Wynton Marsalis, Yanni, and Ziggy Marley.

As an aside, my apologies to GNR. In Stagehand the name of the band was spelled “Guns and Roses.” Their name must have gone through some kind of autocorrect.

All Shook Up

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White, Debra. All Shook Up: Vineleaves Press, 2024.

Reason read: I really like stories of triumph and was pleased to receive Debra White’s story as part of the Early Review program for LibraryThing.

If you are of a certain age, you might be able to imagine a certain toy called a Viewfinder. Look it up if you do not know what I am talking about. For those of you in the know, imagine All Shook Up is a viewfinder with three cards: her terrible accident, her lifelong volunteerism, and her journey to find faith. Each card holds slides or pictures of an important part of Debra White’s story. She has chosen each picture with care. It is obvious every single moment is important to her.
The first card holds the story of her accident. This section hit me the hardest because as a runner, I have worried about being struck by a distracted or drunk driver. [As an aside, an acquaintance of mine was mowed down by a truck just half a mile from her home; a route she had been running for over two decades.] White’s accident sets the stage for the rest of her memoir. The slides (still using the viewfinder metaphor) tell the story of how it happened, her debilitating injuries she is lucky to have survived, and her subsequent rehabilitation, slow recovery, and hesitant reentry into some semblance of a normal life.
Card number two covers the many different charities and volunteer work Debra dedicated her post-accident life to. Despite being disables and scooter-bound, Debra poured her heart and soul into every organization her helped. From animals to airplanes to children to refugees, she cared deeply for every single animal and person she met.
Card number three illustrates White’s views on religion and the God who saved her from her 1994 car-pedestrian accident. She felt she had a debt to pay. Her acceptance into the American Muslim Women’s Association was heartwarming.
White’s life may have been shattered by her horrific accident but she was able to rebuild that life, piece by piece, until it resembled something extraordinary. Her lesson to us all should be broken can be beautiful. Because of some of the repetitiveness I felt that some of the chapters were published separately as essays. Nevertheless I truly enjoyed her story.

As an aside, I need to tell my aunt about the plant and food sniffing Beagles from the Beagles Brigade. She loves those dogs!

Author fact: Debra has her own website here. It is simple but includes a wonderful picture of her with one of her beloved dogs.

Playlist: “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing”, “Jingle Bells”,