Tag: aids

Shooting Up

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Tepper, Jonathan. Shooting Up: a Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction. Infinite Books, 2026.

Reason read: as a member of the Early Review Program I often get to read touching stories. This is high on my list.

What is Shooting Up really about? I could say it is an autobiography of Jonathan Tepper’s upbringing and educational rise to Rhodes Scholar. I could say it is a commentary on addiction and the destruction it caused in the early stages of the AIDS epidemic. I could say it is a graceful memoir about grief and all its complicated layers. Shooting Up is all of those things and more.
Jonathan Tepper’s parents exposed their four sons to a variety of situations other parents would consider disturbing. As missionaries in 1980s Spain, Elliot and Mary Tepper focused their work on serving the addicted population. Mature beyond his years, ex-junkies taught their son, Jonathan, the terminology used for buying heroin and how to make crack. As a child Jonathan could recognize the telltale needle tracks and bruises of users. With addiction leading the way, the AIDS epidemic was not far behind, but in addition to overdoses and AIDS, Tepper’s parents saturated their household with literature and music. The entire family was well-read and all four children had big dreams. Literature was a lasting and large part of all of their lives. Being well-read helped Tepper become a Rhodes Scholar, but I am getting ahead of myself. Tepper’s father, Elliot, read St Augustine’s Confessions and Dag Hammarskjold’s Marking to his four boys and wife at dinner time. Homer, T.E. Lawrence, Dante, John Bunyan, Saint Augustine, Virgil, George Muller, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Jules Verne…I could go on and on. Tepper astutely says, “a great book had the power to change us and shake us to our core” (p 79). Amen.
My favorite section of Shooting Up was Tepper’s childhood. He captured his innocence perfectly. It is as if his childhood was frozen in time like an insect in amber. As an aside, Tepper had some pretty profound comments to make about grief that I absolutely loved.

Music: So much good stuff mentioned in Shooting Up : Aaron Copland’s Billy the Kid, Beach Boy’s “Barbara Ann,” Bix Beiderbecke, Bob Dylan, Branford Marsalis, Charlie “Bird” Parker, Chet Baker, Chuck Berry, Counting Crows, Dizzy Gillespie, Freddy Mercury, Goo Goo Dolls, Iron Maiden, Joan Baez’s “Forever Young,” and “One of Us,” John Coltrane, Louis Armstrong’s “When It’s Sleepy Time Down South,” Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” Mingus’s “Better Get In In Your Soul,” Miles Davis, Mahler, Milli Vanilli, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, “Para mi rey,” Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” Rolling Stones, Stan Getz, Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky’s Serenade for Strings in C Major, Wayne Shorter, and Wynton Marsalis.

Afterlife

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Monette, Paul. Afterlife. New York: Avon Books, 1990.

Reason read: June is Gay Pride month in some states. In other places it is in May, so I started this early in honor of both months.

The very first word that comes to mind when trying to describe Afterlife is heartbreaking. Taking place at the “start” of the AIDs epidemic in the heart of United State’s “ground zero” in San Francisco, it tells the story of a group of gay men trying to make sense of the horrific disease while coping with personal loss. Facing their own mortality, each man has lost a partner to AIDs but display very different coping mechanisms as they have very different support systems. They form a Saturday night support group of survivors, each asking themselves, but for how long? This is a story of courage; the willingness to live and love in the face of death.

Quotes to quote, “There were enough coffins to come” (p 224) and “This worthy man, terminally unctuous but otherwise bland as a serial killer, insisted on driving them up to the North Garden in his own Cadillac” (p 256).

Author fact: Monette was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts.

Book trivia: this should have been a movie.

Nancy said: This was included in Book Lust because it fit in the category of “Books with characters who are gay or lesbian” (p 95).

BookLust Twist: from Book Lust in the chapter called “Gay and Lesbian Fiction: Our of the Closet” (p 93).

June (2009) was…

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June was an amazingly quiet yet unsettling month. I think I needed it –  all of it. I know I wanted it – depression and all. Lots and lots of reading married with work on the house (we started painting!), a lot of work at work, a little music (Rebecca’s cd release party was fun, fun, fun! Can’t wait for the Iron Horse next month!), a small charity walk (Hike for Mike, which I still need to write about)…June was mostly about staying hermitage.
Here are the books:

  • Slow Dancing on Dinosaur Bones by Lana Witt ~ an interesting book about small town life.
  • And the Band Played On: Politics, People and the AIDS Epidemic by Randy Shilts ~ the most amazing journalism on the AIDS epidemic
  • Don’t Look Back by Karin Fossum ~ a murder thriller set in Norway
  • Before the Deluge by Deidre Chethem ~ a nonfiction about the Yangtze river
  • Three Farmers on Their Way to a Dance by Richard Powers ~ three stories centered around a photograph.
  • A Bigamist’s Daughter by Alice McDermott ~ In honor of Alice’s birth month…a story about how things aren’t always what they seem.
  • The Cat Who Saw Red by Lilian Jackson Braun ~ In honor of National Cat Month…okay, so the cats don’t solve the mystery, but they are funny!
  • The Daydreamer by Ian McEwan ~ in honor of McEwan’s birth month (childrens book)
  • The Comfort of Strangers by Ian McEwan~ In honor of McEwan’s birth month (adult – verrry adult book)!
  • This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff~ in honor of National Writing Month (families). I’ll be reading Tobias’s brother’s memoir next June.
  • The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain ~ I had forgotten how great this classic is!
  • Lving High: an Unconventional Autobiography by June Burn ~ Homesteading on an island off Puget Sound.

For the Early Review Program:

  • Beyond Road’s End: Living Free in Alaska by Janice Schofield Eaton ~ a memoir abotu running away to Alaska.

For the fun of it:

  • The Morning Star in Which the Extraordinary Correspondence of Griffin & Sabine is Illuminated by Nick Bantock. Everyone knows I love Nick Bantock. His books are sensual and fascinating. I am drawn to them all the time.

And the Band Played On

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Shilts, Randy. And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1987.

This book has always intimidated me. For three decades I have heard words like “powerful,” “scary,” “depressing,” and even “a necessary evil” to describe And the Band Played On. I was afraid to really know That much about “the gay man’s disease.” I was squeamish about the how vivid I imagined the details to be. I anticipated TMI – Too Much Information – about deviant sex and the agonies of dying. In other words I was in denial and afraid.

And the Band Played Onhas got to be one of the best pieces of journalism I have read in a long, long time. Shilts’ reporting of every aspect of the AIDS epidemic is nothing short of mesmerizing. From the very beginning controlling the spread  of AIDS never stood a chance. AIDS was to be ignored by everyone. If you were heterosexual you didn’t want anything to do with the gay man’s disease. If you were homosexual you didn’t want someone telling you how to have sex, disease or no disease. Shilts does a fantastic job bringing to light the political power struggles that kept education and research about AIDS in the dark for nearly a decade.

Intriguing lines: “A group of drag queens, dressed as nuns and calling themselves the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, had picked the day for their debut” (p 14). “Being gay in New York was something you did on the weekends, it seemed” (p 27). “When a London gay switchboard’s lines broke down because they were so overwhelmed with AIDS calls, telephone company employees refused to fix them because they were afriad of contracting AIDS from the wiring” (p 565).

PS~ Remember my statement about being afraid of TMI, of learning something I realllly didn’t want to know? Well, Shilts did not disappoint. Not only did I get the full description of what fisting (with the whole frickin’ arm) was all about, but I learned of the practice called rimming. Politely put, it’s the human to human equivalent of licking an overflowingly full porta-potty. Good lord.

PPS~ What changed everything for me: learning that Randy Shilts took an HIV test while writing And The Band Played On; that he insisted on not knowing the results until the book was finished so as not to bias his writing; that he learned he was HIV positive on the day he sent his manuscript in…and finally, that in 1995 he died just like the AIDs patients he vividly described in his book.