Tag: memoir

her

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her: a memoir. Parravani, Christa. New York: Henry Holt & Co., 2013

Christa and Cara are identical twins who embody the myth of closeness – two people, one soul. Their bond is not only forged from biology and the womb but strengthened by overcoming a difficult childhood and all adversities that come with poverty and abuse.
But, what happens when one twin starts to spiral out of control? Does the other twin remain independently strong or does she get dragged down with her mirror image sibling? When Cara survives a brutal rape the violence never leaves her mind and she embarks on a journey full of drugs and self destruction. The more Cara sinks into depression and recklessness the more Christa struggles to stay above her sister’s chaos. Christa struggles with finding the delicate balance between loving her sister and wanting to save herself. This becomes especially dangerous when she is desperate to save her sister at the risk of losing herself. Finally, when faced with failure Christa has the seemingly insurmountable task of extracting her life from that of her sister’s. To look into her coffin was to see herself. Part Two of her is Christa’s journey to find herself; to crawl out from under the mountain of grief; to be her own singular person.

Postscript ~ Being very familiar with the area where Cara was raped I refrained from looking at Christa’s photography until I was finished with the book. I have to be honest, the photographs are so striking I kept returning to them. They add an air of quiet melancholy and bring Cara and Christa’s “twinness” into sharper focus. I would say to add more of these photographs to the memoir would make the story even more haunting (if that was even possible). Having said that, this is not a plea to do so, but rather a warning not to…if that makes any sense.

Also, this is the examination of sisterhood that I have always wondered about. I am not a twin but I frequently find myself comparing my current who, what, when, where & how with that of my sister. We had the same upbringing, the same education, the same locale we call hometown and yet our lives are miles apart. We bear no resemblance to the past we once shared. We are completely different in practically very aspect of our lives. I can’t imagine the relationship as a twin.

Drinking with Men

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Schaap, Rosie. Drinking with Men: a Memoir. New York: Riverhead Books, 2013.

One of the very first things you will notice about Drinking with Men is that it is 100% unapologetic. Schaap makes some pretty decent arguments for finding a bar to call your own…even if you are a single woman (stereotypes be damned). Then all of a sudden it hits you, Schaap can really write. She is funny, sarcastic, and above all, a great storyteller. In most cases the introduction to anything is an invitation to yawn. I am not ashamed to say most of the time I skip an introduction to everything. Not this time. Schaap’s introduction is almost a warning, as if to say “Hang on because I am about to tell it like it is. I. Like. To. Drink.” and she tells it with such ease that you keep reading and keep reading. You don’t realize you have let dinner burn, the cats have moved out and your husband has ordered and finished the pepperoni pizza all on his own.

I try not to dabble with discrepancies but when reading about her friend Ed I couldn’t help but notice she intermittently called him Al. Was that something I failed to find the explanation for or what? Truth be known I didn’t go back to see what I missed. I just kept reading.

Favorite lines: I have a few but I’m not sure if they’ll remain in the finished publication so I’ll refrain from exposing them. Weak, I know.

Reason read: Early review program for LibraryThing.

I am hijacking this review for a second: Now seems like a good time to add that I have decided to change how and when I read Early Review/LibraryThing books. Because their arrival to my doorstep is extremely unpredictable I am no longer going to confine myself to reading them within the month received. It just doesn’t work. What if I get a book on December 21st? the old system would have me trying to choke it down in nine days. Because it came in December I was of the mindset it needed to be read in December. Enough of that. Despite it’s arrival date I will take as long as I need to finish it. One rule stays true though – if there is a expected publish date I have to finish at least two weeks before.

November ’12 was…

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I don’t know what makes me feel this way, but November arrived and left before I knew it.  It felt like it was one of those elusive party-goers who pops in for a quick hello and is gone before anyone else knows. Something I would do. We had a fit of snow to add insult to New Jersey/New York injury. My neighborhood survived just fine but mother nature had it in for my old stomping grounds in the worst way.

My routine of reading during my lunch break hasn’t changed. I’ve come to look forward to camping out in the stacks, listening to students pass my study carrel. It gives me perspective. This month I seemed to read nothing but really short, easy to read books.

  • Good Thief’s Guide to Paris by Chris Ewan ~ a continuation of the series I started last month. I think I read this over a weekend.
  • Lives of the Painters, Sculptors and Architects, Vol 2 by Giorgio Vasari ~ a continuation of the series I started last month.
  • Breakfast with Scot by Michael Downing ~ in honor of national adoption month. This was cute. I was able to read it in one day.
  • Camus, a Romance by Elizabeth Hawes ~ in honor of Camus being born in the month of November. I took my time with this but still managed to finish it in two weeks.
  • Scar Tissue by Michael Ignatieff ~ in honor of national Alzheimer’s month. Read over a weekend, I was glued to the words because almost a year ago I lost my uncle to dementia. This really hit home.
  • Before the Knife: Memories of an African Childhood by Carolyn Slaughter ~ in honor of November being a good time to visit Africa. Or so they say. Another quick, weekend read.
  • Edward Lear in Albania: Journals of a landscape Painter in the Balkansby Edward Lear ~ in honor of November being the best time to get to Albania (which I never thought of doing). This took me three weeks to get through.
  • The Cold Light of Mourning by Elizabeth Duncan ~ in honor of Dylan Thomas living in Wales. Don’t ask. It’s a long story. Read in four days.
  • The Viceroy of Ouidah by Bruce Chatwin ~ in honor of November being a good time to visit Africa (yeah, yeah I read two books for the same reason). This was really short. I was  able to read it over four lunch breaks.
  • Corregidora by Gayl Jones ~ in honor of Jones’s birth month. Another short (but difficult) read. Read this in one day.
  • The Akhenaten Adventure by P.B. Kerr ~ in honor of November being Fantasy convention month. Read this over two lunch breaks. Really cute.

For audio books I listened to:

  • Churchill, a Life by Martin Gilbert ~ in honor of Churchill being born in the month of November. A few trips to the eastern part of the state allowed me to finish this sooner than I thought.
  • The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy Sayers ~ for the fun of it. This was hard to listen to simply because of the heavy dialogue.
  • Complications: a Surgeon’s Notes on an Imperfect Science by Atul Gawande ~ in honor of National Health Month. This was only six cds long so it was a great way to finish out the month.

What else was November about? I got to see a pretty exciting Patriots game thanks to my husband. I also got to stay home alone and read for an entire Sunday thanks to another Patriots game. Staying local for Thanksgiving definitely allowed for more reading time, too.

Camus, a Romance

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Hawes, Elizabeth. Camus, a Romance. New york: Grove Press, 2009.

I think what makes this biography so likeable is that Hawes includes her own memoir at the same time. The reader not only gets a portrait of one of the most influential writers of all time but Hawes displays her own life as well. Or at least she displays her obsession with Camus.
Small complaint. The photography Hawes chose to include of Albert Camus are tiny and interspersed in the text unlike other biographies where the photos are grouped together in large, glossy pages. I don’t know if Hawes didn’t receive permission to enlarge the photographs or what. The small photographs seem stingy for some reason; especially since Hawes admits that in reading Camus’s journal she finds him faceless and unknown. It is in photographs that she is able to tease out the intimacies of his spirit. The reader is not privy to most of the images she describes.
As an aside, a friend brought me three other Camus biographies just so I could see the photos. They were wonderful! It was especially nice to see the ones Hawes described in detail.

Line I heard throughout the book, “I was like an author who had fallen in love with one of his characters” (p 98).

Reason read: Albert Camus was born in October. I would have liked more Camus biographies on my list but this is the only one.

Author fact: I should call this “author rumor” because it’s not fact. In my opinion Hawes is obsessed with Camus. It’s as if, in this book, she is stalking his ghost.

Book trivia: No index.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “North African Notes: Algeria” (p 159).

Before the Knife

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Slaughter, Carolyn. Before the Knife: Memories of An African Childhood. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2002.

Before the Knife is a very quick read. Sometimes I felt I was reading fast because I wanted to get through the truly disturbing parts. In truth they were always there, lurking  behind the words Slaughter didn’t say, or worse, only alluded to. Because Slaughter announces early on, in the preface, that she was raped by her father the knowledge is out. “…the moment when everything changed only really came the night that my father first raped me” (p 4). However, she promises her story is not about that horror in particular. True to her word, Before the Knife isn’t about that trauma but having announced it, we readers are always aware of it. We translate innuendo to mean abuse every time. The story of an African childhood is lost to the knowledge something darker is at play. What a different book this would have been if we didn’t know! As expected Slaughter comes back full circle to the first night of the rape, describing it in more detail. Why, I do not know. The entire book is a tangled and confused mess of emotions.

Line that punched me in the stomach: “But once it happened, we decided that it never happened at all” (p 4). Story of my life.
Line that brought me solace: :I hoarded his words in my heart for weeks and brought them out like a talisman any time I was at my wit’s end” (p 182).

Reason Read: November is another good time to visit Africa, only not Slaughter’s Africa. Most of the places she described are no more.

Author Fact: Slaughter has written a bunch of other things including Dreams of the Kalahari.

Book Trivia: This memoir does not include any photographs.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust in the chapter called “Dreaming of Africa” (p 76).

Sept ’12 Was…

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The first four days of September were a Rocky Mountain high followed by the harsh reality of back to school. I felt like a kid. What else? My kisa decided he wants to run a 5k for a charity event so September was our first month of training (the event is on October 14th). We caught the music bug, seeing Phish a few times and Sean Rowe once, which rocked, by the way. It’s fall so the nights are getting cooler. We closed the pool and took out the air conditioner; put a heavier blanket on the bed and put away the swimsuits. I had an eye toward azzkicking boots and comfy sweaters and celebrating eight years of marriage.

Here are the books:

  • Ariel by Andre Maurois ~ in honor of National Book Month. This was an easy book to read in four days.
  • Eleanor Roosevelt Vol. One by Blanche W. Cook ~ in honor of Roosevelt’s birth month. I fully admit I started this in August.
  • American Ground: the Unbuilding of the World Trade Center by William Langewiesche ~ in honor and memory of September 11, 2001. This was an audio book I inexplicably listened to on an airplane.
  • Enchantress From the Stars by Sylvia Louise Engdahl ~ in honor of a hero. I read this in one weekend.
  • Tear Down the Mountain by Roger Alan Skipper ~ in honor of an Appalachian Fiddle Fest held in September. I read this in Colorado over a three day period.
  • The Joke by Milan Kundera ~ in honor of September being the best time to visit Czechoslovakia. Okay.
  • Fire From Heaven by Mary Renault ~ in honor of back to school month. This took me a little while to read but I enjoyed it.
  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Nelle Harper Lee ~ in honor of September being Southern Month. Who has read this book and been able to hold back the tears?

There was only one book I fully admitted defeat on and that was The Deerslayer by James Fenimore Cooper. Just couldn’t do it. By default I am skipping Last of the Mohicans as well. Sad, sad, sad.

For the Early Review Program of LibraryThing I read All Gone: A Memoir of My Mother’s Dementia. With Refreshments. Another LibraryThing book came in at the end of the month but I’ll save that one for October.

For the fun of it I read To Heaven and Back by Mary C. Neal, MD ~ in honor of my aunt who lost her son.

All Gone

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Witchel, Alex. All Gone: a Memoir of My Mother’s Dementia. With Refreshments. New York: Riverhead Books, 2012.

What a difficult task it must be to not only confront a loved one’s illness but to share it with the world. People attempt to do it all the time but Witchel truly succeeds. Her writing is filled with tragic honesty and humor. In an effort to illustrate just how dementia has changed her mother’s personality and the dynamics of the mother-child relationship Witchel dips into her childhood. Using recipes from her past Witchel uses food to bridge the gap between a healthy mother and the disease that has stolen her. It is difficult to watch a seemingly healthy person disappear before your very eyes and that is what happens to Witchel’s mother. Going from professor to patient was not an easy transition for her.
In addition to the stress of an ailing parent Witchel confronts being the only sibling to step up and deal with the sad situation. Everyone is tied to their own family responsibilities and thinks Witchel is the logical caregiver. The attitude is, what else has she to do?
Many people will be able to relate to Witchel’s predicament. Even more so, fans of her writing for The New York Times will embrace her poignant memoir enthusiastically.

There are a bunch of lines I wish I could quote. I guess I’m going to have to read the finished version to make sure they stayed!

To Heaven and Back

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Neal, Mary C. To Heaven and Back: a Doctor’s Extraordinary Account of her Death, Heaven, Angels, and Life Again.Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Press, 2011.

I was supposed to deliver this book to my mother. My aunt bought a copy for all of her sisters and it was my charge to make sure my mother got hers. Of course I had to read it before passing it along. I read it twice.
I am not a religious person. I lost my faith when my father passed away. Unfortunately there is very little anyone can do to make me believe in Heaven, Hell, or even God at this moment. I do believe in spirits and angels and a reason for everything. I think my father is still with me in weird ways, but I do not believe in the Bible.
Having said all that, I had a deep appreciation for Dr. Neal’s story. While it is centered around a religious faith there were moments that resonated with me; passages that moved me to tears. Dr. Neal was kayaking in Chile when she had a terrible accident and technically drowned. she was pinned under water way longer than a person should/could survive. While she was dead she experienced heaven and Jesus holding her. She believed she was spared because her purpose in life on Earth wasn’t finished. Throughout the rest of To Heaven and Back Dr. Neal recounts different moments where her presence saved the life of someone else or God’s presence had a hand in guiding her to make the right decision. Even after her son is tragically killed she found a spiritual way to push through the pain. It is an uplifting story of inspiration.

Sept ’12 is…

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September 2012 started in Colorado. It was nice to disappear for a week! Here are the books:

  • Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook ~ in honor  of Roosevelt’s birth month
  • American Ground: the Unbuilding of the World Trade Center by William Langewicshe ~ in remembrance of September 11, 2001. I will be listening to this on audio.
  • Tear Down the Mountain by Roger Alan Skipper ~ in honor of an Appalachian fiddle festival that takes place in September.
  • The Deerslayer by James Fenimore Cooper ~ in honor of boys going back to school.
  • Ariel: the Life of Shelley by Andre Maurois ~ in honor of National Book Month.
  • Enchantress From the Stars by Sylvia Louise Engdahl ~ in honor of a kid named Matt who was deemed a hero in September.

So. That’s the Challenge plan. For other books I have been told I won two Early Review books from LibraryThing but since I haven’t seen them I won’t mention them here. My aunt wants me to deliver a book to mom so I, of course, read it on the way home from Colorado so it’s already finished: To Heaven and Back: a Doctor’s Extraordinary Account of Her Death, Heaven, Angels, and Life Again by Mary C. Neal, MD. It was an amazing book.

We Took to The Woods

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Rich, Louise Dickinson. We Took to the Woods. Kingsport: Kingsport Press, 1942.

I love it when a book is so fun to read you don’t notice the time. You simply start reading and suddenly it’s three hours later and you are practically finished with the entire thing. Such is the case with We Took to the Woods. Rich is a fantastic storyteller. What makes her story even more appealing is the fact it’s a true story (complete with photographs) and Rich has a great sense of humor. Maine humor, if you will. It’s a great combination.
Probably the most fascinating element to We Took to the Woods is how current it is 70 years after being published. You can read about living in a cabin deep in the woods of Maine today and find it eerily similar to how Rich described it back then. A simple way of life is a simple way of life. I guess you could say simplicity barely changes. Rich divides her chapters into the most frequently asked questions she has had to answer over the years: “But how do you make a living?” “Aren’t you ever frightened?” and “Do you get out very often?” to name a few. It’s as if she wrote the book to shut people up about her unique lifestyle, living in the far Northern section of Maine in the middle of nowhere.

Favorite lines (and there were a few of them): “I see no point in being modest about the things you know you do well” (p 47), “You can neither remodel nor ignore a thing as big as winter” (p 62), and “It’s unreasonable, I know; but some fears lie beyond reason” (p 76). Here are two that illustrate her sense of humor: ” I can also run my household as badly as I please, and our house guests can sun-bathe in the altogether without hindrance” (p 307) and “I find her very tiresome at close range, but at a distance I rather admire her spirit” (p 307-308).

AS an aside – Rich writes about the hurricane of 1938 and how it felled enough trees to make a giant log jam. I find it interesting I am also reading about another natural disaster, the blizzard of 1978 – forty years later.

Reason read: We Took to the Woods takes place in Maine. Maine has an annual lobster festival in Rockland every August. A coastal celebration is enough reason to read about the Rangeley woods.

Author Fact: Louise Dickinson Rich didn’t start off as a writer. She was a teacher first, but always wanted to write a book. I’m glad she did.

Book Trivia: We Took to the Woods was Rich’s first book. She went on to write another one that has been on my bookshelf for years.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “The Maine Chance” (p 135).

postscript~ I doubt I will forget We Took to the Woods anytime soon. Coincidentally, it is the book I chose to read aloud to Cassidy when she went missing her first night in the woods.

Duke of Deception

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Wolff, Geoffrey. The Duke of Deception: Memories of My Father. New York: Random House, 1979.

June is the month for celebrating fathers. I don’t think celebrating is what Wolff had in mind when he wrote the Duke of Deception. Instead I think the writing was cathartic for him and a way to exorcize demons that have haunted him since childhood. If it possible to have the perfect balance of a love/hate relationship with a family member Wolff accomplished it. Throughout the entire tale Wolff is matter of fact to the point of being downright cold and yet, you can tell he loved and worshiped his father. He just didn’t completely understand him. Geoffrey Wolff is a son who couldn’t wait to be far enough away but was never close enough. Probably the most astounding aspect of “Duke” Wolf was his ability to exploit and swindle people at every chance he got. Lying, cheating, stealing became second nature to him. My mind reeled every time Duke Wolff uprooted his family to dodge a debt.

Author fact: According to Random House, Wolff lives in Bath, Maine. My only connection to Bath is a night at a B&B. Sad to say since I’m a Mainer.

Book Trivia: Geoffrey’s story in only half of the big picture. His brother Tobias wrote the other side in This Boy’s Life (review is here).

BookLust Twist: From More Book Lust in the chapter called “All in the Family: Writer Dynasties” (p 5).

Hawaii’s Story

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Liliuokalani. Hawaii’s Story: By Hawaii’s Queen. Rutland: Charles E. Tuttle Company, Inc., 1964.

If you read the Tuttle (1964) edition of Hawaii’s Story you are treated to many black and white photographs. Two in particular really stand out to me – the very first ones. One of a woman and on the opposite page one of a man, both in royal garb. Your eyes are instantly drawn to the one of the woman, Liliuokalani. She is striking, posed in an amazing dress and sash. I couldn’t get over how tiny her waist looked!
But, about the book – I have to start off by saying Liliuokalani’s story opened my eyes to a completely different culture. For starters, I thought it strange that immediately after birth Liliuokalani would be adopted by another chief and that adoption was political as well as strategic, “…alliance by adoption cemented the ties of friendship between the chiefs…” (p 4). Go figure. It was eye opening to realize each island had its own chief which allowed for multiple adoptions.
Liliuokalani’s story is not without its soap opera moments either. Her brother was to be married until the bride decided she wanted to marry a cousin…until the cousin lays eyes on Liliuokalani…In all actuality Lilioukalani’s story is political to the bone. It is a detailed account of the decline of a kingdom that had existed for hundreds of years. Lilioukalani uses her ability to write as a vehicle for pleading with President Cleveland to preserve the monarchy. You can hear Lilioukalani’s pride, defiance, and even anger as she carefully tells the story of her people.

An example that some things never change: “As she felt that no one should step between her and her child, naturally I, as her son’s wife, was considered an intruder, and I was forced to realize this from the beginning” (p 23).

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “Hawaii: memoirs” (p 94).

Volcano

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Hongo, Garrett. Volcano: a Memoir of Hawaii. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1995.

I didn’t know what to expect when I first picked up Volcano. For starters I thought it would be about a volcano. You know, the thing that spouts out molten hot lava; the thing that ultimately created the islands of Hawaii? I had no idea there is a tiny town called Volcano just below the summit of Kilauea.
Like West of Then by Tara Bray Smith, Volcano is about the author’s search for something. Interestingly enough, both authors suffer from abandonment issues and both return to Hawaii for resolution. While Smith’s search is more tangible (she is looking for her actual mother), Hongo’s is more spiritual. He has ghosts in the form of memories he must confront in the mists of Hilo. Like Smith’s story, Hongo’s is meandering and seemingly without plot or purpose. However, one of the magical elements to Hongo’s book is it is obvious he is a poet. His writing is lyrical and fairly dances off the page. He doesn’t have to have character, drama or even plot for his writing to be beautiful and entertaining.

Lines that were poetic enough to move me: “I walked, vaguely supplicant, through the aisles and from shelf to shelf, weighing memory against need…” (p 46), and “I wanted an encounter, an embrace or a showdown with the past” (p 83).

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “Hawaii: memoirs” (p 94).

Three Came Home

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Keith, Agnes Newton. Three Came Home. Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1947.

This may sound a little strange but I was able to finish this in the time it took to a baseball game to start and finish (no extra innings), a movie to be watched (127 minutes) and a man to get a vasectomy. In other words, no time at all was taken to start and finish Three Came Home. Besides being extrememly uncomplicated I liked it and I think that made it all the easier to buzz through.

Agnes Newton Keith is what you would call “plucky.” She is a straight shooter even in the presense of pain and suffering. As prisoners of war from January 19th, 1942 to September 11th, 1945 Keith, her husband Harry, and their infant son George are held captive by the Japanese on the island North Borneo. Because of Keith’s reputation as a writer (previously publishing a book called Land Below the Wind) Keith is commissioned by Japanese Commander Major Suga to write “The Life and Times of an Internee” as proof his prisoners did not suffer in captivity. He wanted to convey actual happiness. Keith writes an account for Major Suga but at the same time she needs to tell her truth. Three Came Home is her written-in-secret journal of nearly three years as a prisoner. It documents not only her survival but her determination to be a good mother to George and a good wife to Henry.

Despite being a “war memoir” Three Came Home is not without humor. Case in point, Keith is trying to diaper her child and “misses” describing the outcome as “an aborginal phallic decoration” (p 16). Ouch!
Above all else Keith remained true to the idea that all people are good and only circumstance makes us bad. “I believe that while we have more than we need on this continent, and others die for want of it, there can be no lasting peace” (p 317).

BookLust Twist: From More Book Lust in the chapter called “Living Through War” (p 156).

Stuffed

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Volk, Patricia. Stuffed: Adventures of a Restaurant Family.Hampton Falls: Beeler Large Print, 2001.

I thoroughly enjoyed Stuffed. I found it to be funny and clever and culturally informative. Don’t let the title deceive you. The story does not center around a restaurant. In fact, Volk barely makes mention of the family establishment(s). Instead, Volk offers insight into memories of her family through foodstuff. A cookie. Meat. Soup. Chocolate. Each morsel of food is an opportunity to tell a small tale about a great-grandfather, her aunts, a sister. Probably the most profound chapter is the death of her father. The loss is profound, the love endless. I think the morale of the story, if any, is love your family. Warts and all.

Best lines: “I don’t know if I could live without my sister…I love her as much as I love me” (p 33). C’est vrai. Another line: “You could eat off her floors if you don’t mind the taste of Pine-Sol” (p 68). And one more, “She learned to live with the compromise of pain” (p 119). I could go on, but I won’t.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust in the chapter called “Food For Thought” (p 92).

PS~ a side note on the large print. No, I’m not going blind. I read this copy because it was the only one within reach. Oddly enough I enjoyed it being so big.