Big If

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Costello, Mark. Big If: a Novel. New York: W. W. Norton, 2002.

I love it when everything about a book comes together. Meaning, when the plot is exciting and moves along like a river after a good hard rain and characters are detailed and dynamic and even the small stuff is interesting. When all these things come together I can’t put a book down. I read this over the weekend. that should tell you something.

Jens and Vi Asplund are adult siblings with very different lives. Jens lives in New Hampshire with his real estate wife and toddler son. He spends his days as a computer programmer writing programs for violent video games his patriotic father never approved of. His sister, Violet is Secret Service bodyguard sworn to protect the life of the Vice President of the United States during an election campaign. She has nothing that resembles a social life, a love life, or even a home life. If she is lonely she would never admit it.

Big If  takes you inside the creative and neurotic genius of software programmers. Simultaneously, you are drawn into every potential threat made to high powered public officials, as well as reliving old threats-come-true like the assassination attempt on President Reagan. Jens and Vi couldn’t have different lives and seem worlds apart…until they collide.

Favorite line: “This was another Rocky trick, fukc this legalistic sh!t, talk to crazy people in the crazy people language” (p36).

BookLust Twist: From More Book Lust in the chapter “New England Novels” (p 177).

Special thanks to the Hot One for posting…

Same Old Song

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Funny. I wrote this on October 5th, 2006. Listen to it as October 10th 2008 and ask yourself – what, if anything, has changed?

We will rise before the sun and face the day with the thought that today will be different from the day before. Much different. We will look towards coffee as the great motivator but really, in our heart of hearts, it will be the open road. We will stop for alcohol and then when we can drive no more, stop for the sea. When we reach the ocean we will know we can go no further. We will ride the waves and smell the salt. I can’t speak for her but I will breathe. Breathe in and out. Breathe like I haven’t in days. We will spot my mother and gossip all the way up the hill. We will finally drop our bags in sighing relief and a great sense of freedom. We will call our husbands while drinking wine and staring out over the ocean. Distracted. What we won’t do is talk about work because we promised. We will (try to) keep that promise. For love and sanity, we will.

I came across this…as I was packing. How perfect is that? Nothing has changed. I could have written this yesterday. Or next year. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Talking to Myself Again

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I am very used to talking to myself while driving; having full conversations while cooking alone; debating the issues with me and moi in the shower. It’s all been said before – to myself. What I’m not used to is talking to myself when I *think* someone else is supposed to be listening; getting the message, and responding. It’s been happening a lot and I think it’s driving me crazy.

The first time was when I was on the phone with mum. Blah blah blah. We can talk for hours. That’s my fault. I call once a month or less. We have a lot of catching up to do. The last time I was going on and on about something – not important because even I can’t remember what it was – when all of a sudden my mother is asking hello? hello? like I had hung up on her. How long had I been blathering? More importantly, how long had I been talking to myself? How much did she didn’t get? Sighing and ignoring my husband’s bemused look with raised eyebrow, I started from the beginning.

Then there’s the small incident with texting. I was deep in conversation when all of a sudden I noticed my last three texts had gone unanswered. Was I texting to myself? Was I a disconnected dork? Feeling a little put out I shut off my phone and buried it under a bag.

Most recently there was FaceBook. I have to admit I think there is a conspiracy afoot. FB and Google have me good. My problem is I am too rushed to notice if my email is a Facebook message or a real, honest-to-goodness email. Lately, I am assuming the latter and write back these big long, dramatic, here’s everything that has been going on with me emails. I pour out my trials and tribulations leaving no detail untyped. With great satisfaction and a feeling of connectedness I click send on my communication….only to have message delivery failure message pop up because the message I thought I was responding to wasn’t actually an email.

I don’t think there is a moral to the story. I don’t think there is a cure for what ails me. I will always talk to myself in some fashion. Waiting for someone to respond is just part of the game, I guess. In the meantime, I guess I should log onto FaceBook and answer some messages or walls or whatever!

Accidental Tourist ~with spoiler

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Tyler, Anne. The Accidental Tourist. New York: Berkley, 1985.

This was a reread. I couldn’t remember anything about it and rules are rules: if I don’t remember the plot, I don’t remember the main characters or, I don’t remember how it ended I read it again. This one was a cinch. I reread it in a day.

Macon Leary is a man stuck in his ways. He’s so eccentric I almost disliked him in the beginning…until I met his family. They’re all the same way. Macon is the author of unique travel books centered around business travel. The problem is Macon doesn’t like to travel, doesn’t like meeting new people, doesn’t like being in unfamiliar places. Upon separating from his wife Macon’s whole life turns upside down. He learns how to feel emotions, to see the world as if through the eyes of a completely different person. The Accidental Tourist takes you on a journey of awakening and growth.

Lines that hooked me: “Could you really drive a car without reversing?” (p 18). Okay, not the most poetic of lines, but here’s the story: Kisa has a coworker who consistently parks in the turn around instead of using the lot – the huge lot. We used to complain about it until we found out his car couldn’t reverse!
“”She always seemed about to fall over the brink of something” (p 63). Love the imagery!
“Macon got out Miss MacIntosh just for something to pin his mind to” (318). It was at this moment that I knew Macon loved Muriel and would return to her. Don’t ask me why.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust in the chapter, “Real Characters” (p 197). Incidentally, The Accidental Tourist was made into a movie. I’m thinking if Nancy Pearl ever writes another Lust book she should include books made into movies (worth seeing). I’m betting she would include this one.

Something From Yesterday

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Advantage for the Taking

Someone unexpected lifted me out of my self-imposed anger today. I had been walking about with this you done me Wrong attitude and she turned it into a Right. Not only unexpected but downright heart stopping shocking. I had written her off a long time ago. Suddenly, I am seeing the faint lines of forgiveness coming through the hate. Am I mad?
I hate being lied to and this lie was self-indulgent and stupid. I could have handled the truth but something chose to make it worse by putting my heart in the mix. The smokescreen was as ridiculous as the lie. Could I not see through it? I couldn’t help but vent. After all, I am allergic to smoke. A sort of blood letting for the hurt, so to speak. The kicker is that I chose to spew my frustration to someone who used to produce just as much irritation as I was trying to release. I couldn’t help it and to make matters worse, there was no stopping me once I got going…you know how it is.
Surprise of all surprises, my rant was met with calm. Understanding. Even a solution of sorts. I couldn’t help but laugh, feel a litte silly. Just how old am I anyway? So, there we are: the barnacle, the newbee, the about face and me. Go figure.

Carry On, Jeeves

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Wodehouse, P.G. Carry On, Jeeves. New York: A.L. Burt, 1927.

This book just feels good in my hands. Published 10 years before my father was even born, it even looks its age. I guess I just like old books.

Carry on, Jeeves is a series of stories about how Jeeves acts as man-servant while repeatedly saving the day for Bertram Wooster. Each chapter sets up a different dilemma “Bertie” and/or his friends face and how Jeeves cleverly resolves every one of those dilemmas. There is a formula to these moments of crisis: someone is usually misleading a family member (usually an aunt) to think he is wealthy, in another part of the country, worth marrying, not worth marrying, etc. Jeeves’s solution is to mislead the “aunt” with a lie or two.  The lie is the smallest of gestures and usually something humorous happens – like the plan backfiring. While the general plot seems repetitious, Wodehouse’s style of writing is very funny. Side note: Bertie and Jeeves always seem to get into curious arguments about fashion.

Lines I liked: “I strained the old bean to meet this emergency” (p 47).
“I’m never much of a lad till I’ve engulfed an egg or two and a beaker of coffee (p 89).
“If this was going to be a fish-story, I needed stimulants” (p 167).

BookLust Twist: From More Book Lust in the chapter “P.G. Wodehouse: Too Good To Miss” (p 235). What I find hysterical about Pearl’s entry is her first sentence: “If you can ignore his somewhat rummy behavior…” (p 235). “Rummy” is a word Wodehouse uses over and over and over in Carry On, Jeeves.

October Is…

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October is Halloween! For anyone who knows me, Halloween starts on October 1st and runs for 31 days. This is the way it should be. I have a whole big box of Halloween stuff and every October 1st out it comes. Okay, so this year it was a little early. I bought a tiny skull completely off timeline, too! The skeltons, black cats, bats, witches, goblins, and of course, my fave – jack-o-laterns!
October is also another chance to slip away to Monhegan for a handful of days. Home Sweet Autumn Home. For music it’s Sean, of course. There are other trips, I’m sure. Just ask Joe.

For reading, here’s how it stacks up. For the Book Lust Challenge:

  • Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler ~ in honor of Anne’s birth month
  • Artimis Fowl by Eoin Colfer ~ in honor of National Fantasy Month
  • Big If by Mark Costello ~ October is the best time to visit New England
  • Carry On Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse ~ in honor of Wodehouse’s birth month
  • Crime Novels: American Noir of the 30’s and 40’s by Horace ~ in honor of Crime Novel month

That’s about it. Pumpkin Fest later. Big charity walk for breast cancer on the 26th. Natalie’s birthday…

Any Given Doomsday

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Handeland, Lori. Any Given Doomsday. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2008.

Any Given Sunday was a football movie. Any Given Thursday was a John Mayer dvd. Any Given Doomsday is my latest Early Review book for LibraryThing. I have to start off by saying this book was out of my comfort zone. On purpose. I don’t read traditional “chick lit” and I steer away from “fantasy” genre. Any Given Doomsday s eemed to be both. But, like with the Book Lust Challenge (which is teaching me to appreciate all styles of writing), I wanted to give this book, and myself, a chance. I’m sorry that I did.

Reading Any Given Doomsday was like trying to enjoy a decent omelet only to have it occasionally spoiled by the jarring crunch of a careless eggshell. The overall plot, monsters are going to take over the world, was thrilling but what was so unsettling was my dislike for the main character, Elizabeth Phoenix. There wasn’t enough character depth to make me appreciate her tough-as-nails attitude. Her strength definitely was a necessity to her position in life (seer, psychic, etc), but I tired quickly of her horny, yet angry mood swings. She was attracted to a few different monster/characters and for every sexy thought she had an equally violent one (clenching fists etc). When she finally “gave in” to having sex with that “must I?” attitude the seductions were weak and the sex was gratuitous and predictable because of Lizzie’s libido. Of course, the transfer of supernatural powers through intercourse made the graphic scenes easy to include.
All in all I thought Any Given Doomsday tried too hard to be over the top dramatic use of religion as an explanation for the plot, the use of sex as a vehicle for smut, and the shallow character development made

I’m not a big fan of stupid characters. Here’s a great example. Liz is raped by her exboyfriend turned monster. Afterwards he tells her she is to be his sex slave for life: never wear clothes and “give it to him” whenever and wherever he wants. She leaves to take a shower and is somehow shocked and offended to find her clothes missing when she gets out. Duh? She’s outraged despite the fact “the rules” were laid out for her. Insert eye roll here.

Completely off topic: the chick on the cover, who I am assuming is Elizabeth Phoenix, reminds me of a member of the Nashville, TN band called Jypsie. As a result, I kept wanting to put a Southern drawl in Liz’s mouth!

September Was…

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September started with a heat wave and the ache of leaving home. School is back in session and I feel like I am trying to rein in wild horses. Here’s what I managed to read in this crazy, crazy month.

  • World’s Fair by E.L. Doctorow ~ yeah, yeah. Not on the original September list. So sue me.
  • The Code Book: The Science of Secrecy from Ancient Egypt to Quantum Cryptography by Simon Singh ~ really wild book. I discovered tow movies I want to see thanks to this book.
  • A Good Enough Parent by Bruno Bettelheim ~ indepth psychobabble (good for all those parents who realllly want to analyze their kids).
  • Far Side of Paradise: a Biography of F. Scott Fitzgerald by Arthur Mizner ~ fascinating and funny.
  • The Diaries of Jane Somers by Doris Lessing ~ this one tricked me because when I first picked it up I thought it was going to be biographical nonfiction!
  • The Nowhere City by Alison Lurie ~ this should be a movie!
  • Pictures from an Institution by Randall Jarrell ~ technically I didn’t finish this one in time so it will be on the list again!

For LibraryThing’s Early Review program:

  • Emily Post by Laura Claridge ~ I have to admit, I wasn’t into this as much as I thought I would be.
  • Any Given Doomsday by Lori Handeland ~ I’m still struggling with the review for this one!
  • The Dangerous Joy of Dr. Sex and Other True Stories by Pagan Kennedy ~ Having forgot my last September challenge book, I tore through this one. My original plan was to save it for October but I couldn’t…it was that good.

For the hell of it:

  •  What I Talk About When I Talk About Running: a memoir by Haruki Murakami ~ totally off my Challenge radar, but I had to read it. It came highly, highly recommended so I jumped off the Challenge train and read about running. Totally worth it.
  • Under the Neon ~ a crazy book about the homeless who live in the storm drains underneath Vegas.
  • The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch ~ another book that came highly recommended. Sad, though!

Other than the books, it was a month for seeing good, good friends. Two friends from Colorado (haven’t seen them in four years!), a Rebecca Correia show (and 4.8 mi run with her!), the Big E with Jypsie and traffic, a good long conversation with one of my oldest and bestest friends in the whole wide world, and, and, and, a visit from my elusive, always on the go, friend SPB. I even got to have dinner with him! How lucky am I?
**personal note: thanks to everyone who helped me through this month. I’m out of the woods.

Beneath the Neon

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O’Brien, Matthew. Beneath the Neon: Life and Death in the Tunnels of Las Vegas. Las Vegas, Huntington Press, 2007.

This was not a Challenge book. This wasn’t an Early Review selection. This was a morbid curiosity about how someone I know lives. Homeless in Las Vegas. I didn’t know O’Brien’s book existed until talking to someone about my June trip to Vegas. What I talked about happened on the strip, above ground. “Yes, but did you know about the tunnels?” someone asked of me. Errr…no.

There is a whole society beneath the streets of Vegas and Matthew O’Brien painstaking draws this community out. Drain by drain, dark tunnel by tunnel he explores their world and shares their stories with the likes of us. From the moment I spied the words “drooling algae” on the first page (p 1), I was hooked. The trip Matthew takes us on is creepy, dark, violent, sexy, artistic, tragic, ill, romantic, pitiful, dangerous and sweet. Everyone in the drains has a story: running away from drugs, running to them. Gambling. Hiding. Healing. Living. Dying. Some say they are saving to “get out”, others know they will die where they sleep. Some are moved to tears, others could care less. Sleep to dream, sleep to die. It makes no difference in the tunnels under the Vegas Strip.

It was weird to read about the places I frequented. There is a whole art wall underneath Caesar’s Palace. I never knew. While I was there the city was careful to disguise its poverty, hide its ugly. At the time, standing in the water gardens of the Flamingo I wouldn’t have believed the story of the drains. Now, it makes perfect sense.

A few favorite phrases: “There’s more stuff in our dumpsters than there is in all the houses and closets of Third World countries” (p 79).
“..but the heat was stealing my soul” (p 192).

In case this fascinates you like it did me…read the book then visit these links:
For the photography of Danny Mollohan go here.
For the Beneath The Neon website go here.

Epilogue ~ I choked on my words when I accidentally found this blog again. For the person who started this review in the first place, my homeless someone in Vegas, is now dead. I have never been more sick of my own words than I am right now.

Dangerous Joy of Dr. Sex

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Kennedy, Pagan. The Dangerous Joy of Dr. Sex and Other True Stories. Santa Fe: Santa Fe Writers Project, 2008.

When I requested this book from LibraryThing’s Early Review program I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Sure, I had read the paragraph and *thought* I knew. It’s like when you think you know the way, and so for awhile you think you are going in the right direction, until you’re not. Then you realize you didn’t know the way and and still don’t; suddenly, there you aren’t. You are lost.

Pagan Kennedy’s Dangerous Joy is a series of nonfiction essays with two central themes: invention and humanity. You could call them short stories, mini biographies because each chapter focuses on the life of someone creative – ranging from Alex Comfort to Pagan’s own mother. As readers we are drawn into not only the science behind their inventions, but the personality behind the answer to why they did what they did. Every story is peppered with humor and science – an unlikely combination that works.
Kennedy’s first story is about Alex Comfort, the man behind The Joy of Sex. Who knew that Alex was a British biologist hell bent on reinventing orgies as the norm for sex? His story is compelling and completely tragic. Kennedy goes on to introduce us to Amy Smith, recipient of the MacArthur Foundation’s Genius award; Dr Irene Pepperberg, trainer of a brilliant African Grey parrot named Alex; Cheryl Haworth, Olympic weight lifter; and Conor Oberst, a tormented musician…just to name a few.

Road Trip(s)

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We have decided to take one last musical road trip.

  • Sean Rowe October 3rd, 2008. New York. Stay tuned for further information!

MORE info: the gig is in Philmont, NY – a little over 90 minutes away. Anyone wanting to carpool with me can meet at my place at 6:45p or “the lot” at 7:15pm. Email me if the lot has you scratching your head or if you need further details.

Hopefully, we will also make these (unmusical) trips:

  • Monhegan ~ Columbus Day weekend
  • Keene Pumpkin Fest on October 25th, 2008.
  • High Hopes sugar shack (weekends all during the month of October)

Pushing September Out

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I decided to push September out the door a little earlier than any calendar would suggest. Yeah, yeah. I have three more days, but who’s counting? Certainly not me. It’s been a hard month.

Truth be known I am always itching for October 1st. My Halloween has 31 days. My thrill time lasts all month. Better than Christmas. Don’t ask me why. I think it started when I was a kid. Mom would make these outrageous costumes (extremely elaborate, creative, funky…but on a frayed shoestring budget – we’re talking tinfoil and spray paint). My all-time favorite was a gigantic pumpkin made out of coat hangers, a bed sheet and lots of paint. I barely fit through doors, couldn’t sit down all that well and my face itched for days on end, but man! it was a cool costume. Another time sis and I were Miss Piggy and Kermit the frog. I remember being embarrassed by the ginormous breasts and blue eye shadow. We were a sight to see! Us kids would pile into the back of a pickup truck and bounce all over the island looking for treats while the older boys played tricks. Scary all the time they were worse on Halloween. Dusk brought eerie shadows to our faces as we tried to peer into plastic bags for goodies. Whoopie pies spilled from my mother’s kitchen as big as your fist. Apple cider simmering on the wood stove.

These days I don’t run around wearing orange and green paint pretending to be a vegetable from the patch. If I’m lucky I will get my kisa to take a walk among the trick or treaters so I can count the goblins. Every year someone on my block plays Nightmare Before Christmas on the side of his house. Candles glow from jack-o-lanterns on every stoop. Leaves crunch beneath our feet. There is some sort of magic in the air. I can’t really explain it. The sugar shacks start up their boils and put on breakfast feasts.
What I need to do now is find my way to the basement, locate the big box marked “Halloween”, drag it up to the living room, and unpack my spooky friends. Who cares if it’s still September? Who cares if I’m in the wrong month. It’s time to get back to the right state of mind.

Good Enough Parent

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Bettelheim, Bruno. A Good Enough Parent. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1987.

It’s funny that this was written in the year I graduated from high school and went onto college. I consider 1987 one of the biggest “brink” years – standing on the brink of something bigger. However, reading this 21 years later reminds me of something else: homework!

Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids (and the fact I’ll never have kids) that I didn’t find A Good Enough Parent all that interesting. Instead it was rather dry and psychological. Nancy Pearl says this book is a must for any new parent. I honestly do not know when any new parent would have the time! Pearl also goes on to say, “Be forewarned: Bettelheim’s perspective is very psychoanalytical” (Book Lust p 30). He does make the text a little easier (interesting) by including personal anecdotes and compelling stories to punctuate his point.

Lines I like: “None of this holds true for what happens between a parent and child. Anything that occurs in their relationship is heir to a long and complicated history” (p 5).
“I feel that a parent’s most important task is to get a feeling for what things may mean to his child” (p 14).
“Parental anxiety makes life very difficult for parent and child, since the child responds to the anxiety of the parents with even more severe anxiety” (p 41).

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust in the chapter called “Babies: A Readers Guide” (p 30).