Tag: memoir

Diving Bell and the Butterfly

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Bauby, Jean-Dominique. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1997.

My father died of a massive stroke. When I first opened Bauby’s book I thought I knew what the life of a stroke survivor would be about. I was wrong.

Jean-Dominique Bauby was 43 years old when he was the victim of a rare kind of stroke that occurs in the brain stem. While he survives the event he is basically a prisoner in his own body. His body was completely paralyzed to the point where he could only move one eyelid. From this meager movement he learned to communicate with others and, amazingly, write this memoir. The title of the book comes from Bauby’s description of his condition. While his body felt as weighted down as a diving bell sinking in the sea, his mind was as free as a butterfly floating on the breeze.
There is a sense of stoic realism in Bauby’s tone and while it is impossible to believe, there is also a touch of humor in Bauby’s heartbreaking story. When he talks of everyone gathering for physical therapy and those same patients being uncomfortable with his plight. He describes their eyes skidding away from him as “…feeling the sudden need to study the ceiling smoke detector. The “tourist” must be very worried about fire” (p 33).

Other quotes that grabbed me: “She would take a vacation from life for five minutes or several hours” (p 67) and “I can weep discreetly. People think my eye is watering” (p 78).

As an aside, Bauby’s hospital room was #119. Go listen to Natalie Merchant’s “Verdi Cries.” The opening lyric is “The man in 119 takes his tea all alone.” I wonder what Natalie would have thought about this man in 119?

Reason read: There is a day in August when you are supposed to acknowledge guilt. I can’t remember where I learned this but I am reading The Diving Bell and the Butterfly because it definitely makes me feel guilty.

Author fact: Jean-Dominique Bauby died just two short days after the French publication of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Did he have any idea how many people he would touch with his memoir?

Book trivia: While The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is short, less than 150 pages, it is huge on emotion. It has also been made into a movie. Now, there’s a tear jerker!

BookLust Twist: from More Book Lust in the chapter called “Other People’s Shoes” (p 181).

Cat Daddy

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Galaxy, Jackson. Cat Daddy: What the World’s Most Incorrigible Cat Taught Me About Life, Love, and Coming Clean.New York: Tarcher, 2013

If you have seen Jackson Galaxy on Animal Planet you know how he talks and how he thinks, for the most part. Reading his book is more of the same. More or less. He has a way of wrapping words around a deeper meaning and in the end you more than know what he is talking about. You get it and hopefully, you get your cat, too. Because that’s the whole point. But, watching “My Cat From Hell” is no substitute for reading Cat Daddy. Jackson bares his soul and lays his demons to rest as he recounts how a broken cat named Benny came into his deeply scarred life. Just as the title hints Jackson abused drugs and alcohol while struggling to find his way as a musician in Boulder, Colorado. Finding work in a shelter was the beginning to his saving grace. He found solace among the animals, more so than with his human counterparts. As Jackson learned to understand animals he began to sort out his own life. Identifying with addiction with the first step in recovery.

Reason read: I have been watching Animal Planet’s “My Cat From Hell” and was intrigued by Mr. Galaxy. He seemed to have a story all his own lurking beneath the strange exterior of piercings, shaved head and piercings.

Author fact: According to Jackson’s memoir he used to weight 400 lbs. I can’t picture it at all.

Book trivia: there are no pictures in Galaxy’s book which was sad. I would have like to have seen the dreads with various things woven in them. Or better yet, the cats! Most people reading his book are cat people to be sure. They would definitely want to see the cats!

The August August List

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The list is getting shorter and shorter. Hard to believe the year is almost over. Year seven is now three quarters over. Here are the remaining books for September, October and November. Just three short months. I’m sure I will add to this list because it seems entirely too short.

  1. At Home in the Heart of Appalachia by John O’Brien – September
  2. Burma Chronicles by Guy Delise – September
  3. Child that Books Built by Francis Spufford – September
  4. Deafening by Frances Itani – October
  5. Going Wild by Robert Winkler – October
  6. Guardians by Geoffrey Kabaservice – November
  7. Light Infantry Ball by Hamilton Basso – September
  8. Ocean of Words by Ha Jin – October
  9. Old Friends by Tracy Kidder – September
  10. Panther Soup by John Grimlette – November
  11. Southpaw by Mark Harris – October
  12. Time, Love, Memory by Jonathan Weiner – November
  13. What you Owe Me by Bebe Moore Campbell – November
  14. Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken – September

ON DECK FOR AUGUST:

  1. Abide By Me by Elizabeth Strout
  2. Beyond the Bogota by Gary Leech
  3. Burning the Days by James Salter
  4. Conspiracy and Other Stories by Jaan Kross
  5. Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
  6. Nobody Knows My Name by James Baldwin

FINISHED:

  1. Adventures of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol
  2. Ancient Athens on 5 Drachmas a Day by Philip Matyszak
  3. Apollo: the epic journey to the moon by David West Reynolds
  4. Apples Are From Kazakhstan by Christopher Robbins
  5. Arctic Grail by Pierre Berton
  6. Ariel by Sylvia Plath
  7. Author, Author by David Lodge
  8. Beautiful Swimmers by William Warner
  9. Before the Knife by Carolyn Slaughter
  10. Bellwether by Connie Willis
  11. Beneath the Lion’s Gaze by Maaza Mengist
  12. Big Mouth and Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
  13. Billy by Albert French
  14. Brass Go-Between by Oliver Bleeck
  15. Breakfast with Scot by Michael Drowning
  16. Brush with Death by Elizabeth Duncan
  17. Brushed by Feathers by Frances Wood
  18. Camus, a Romance by Elizabeth Hawes
  19. Cardboard Crown by Martin Boyd
  20. Cat Who Ate Danish Modern by Lillian Jackson Braun
  21. Churchill, a life by Martin Gilbert
  22. City of Thieves by David Benioff
  23. Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner
  24. Death in Verona by Roy Harley Lewis
  25. Descending the Dragon by Jon Bowermaster
  26. Diamond Classics by Mike Shannon
  27. Difficult Young Man by Martin Boyd
  28. Dining with Al-Qaeda by Hugh Pope
  29. Domestic Manners of the Americans by Fanny Trollope
  30. The Evolution of Jane by Catherine Schine
  31. Edward Lear in Albania by Edward Lear
  32. Fanny by Edmund White
  33. Fear of Flying by Erica Jong
  34. Final Solution by Michael Chabon
  35. Fixer by Joe Sacco
  36. Flamboya Tree by Clara Olink Kelly
  37. Footnotes in Gaza by Joe Sacco
  38. Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Zabat Katz
  39. Full Cupboard of Life by Alexander McCall Smith
  40. Gabriel Garcia Marquez by Gerald Martin
  41. Galton Case by Ross MacDonald
  42. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos
  43. Girl in Landscape by Jonathan Lethem
  44. God: a biography by Jack Miles
  45. Gold Coast Madam by Rose Laws
  46. Golden Spruce by John Vaillant
  47. Good City edited by Emily Hiestand
  48. Good Thief’s Guide to Paris by Chris Ewan
  49. Good Thief’s Guide to Vegas by Chris Ewan
  50. Good-bye Chunk Rice by Craig Thompson
  51. Grand Ambition by Lisa Michaels
  52. Her by Christa Parravani
  53. Hole in the Earth by Robert Bausch
  54. Hole in the World by Richard Rhodes
  55. ADDED: Home Before Dark by Susan Cheever
  56. House on the Lagoon by Rosario Ferre
  57. Iliad by Homer
  58. Idle Days in Patagonia by William Hudson
  59. Imperfect Harmony by Stacy Horn (for LibraryThing’s Early Review program
  60. Joy of Cooking by Irma Rombauer
  61. Kalahari Typing School for Men by Alexander McCall Smith
  62. Liar’s Poker:  Rising Through the Wreckage on Wall Street by Michael Lewis
  63. Lives of the Painters, vol 2, 3 & 4 by Giorgio Vasari
  64. The Long Walk by Slavomir Rawicz
  65. Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou for the Early Review Program
  66. Mortality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith
  67. No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
  68. Of Human Bondage by William Maugham
  69. Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore
  70. Outbreak of Love by Martin Boyd
  71. ADDED: Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark
  72. Path Between the Seas by David McCullough
  73. Patrimony: a true story by Philip Roth
  74. Playing for Keeps by David Halberstam
  75. Points Unknown edited by David Roberts
  76. Rabbit Hill by Robert Lawson
  77. Ready for a Brand New Beat by Mark Kurlansky
  78. Return of the Dancing Master by Henning Mankell
  79. Rosalind Franklin: Dark Lady of DNA by Brenda Maddox
  80. Scar Tissue by Michael Ignatieff
  81. Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy
  82. Scramble for Africa by Thomas Pakenham – did not finish
  83. ADDED: Star Beast by Robert Heinlein
  84. Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
  85. Suzy’s Case by Andy Siegel (as recommended)
  86. Tatiana by Dorothy Jones
  87. Tattered Cloak by Nina Berberova
  88. Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith
  89. Tears of the Giraffe by Alexander McCall Smith
  90. This is Paradise by Kristiana Kahakawila for LibraryThing
  91. Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
  92. Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy Sayers
  93. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackery
  94. Viceroy of Ouidah by Bruce Chatwin
  95. When Blackbirds Sing by Martin Boyd
  96. Wholeness of a Broken Heart by Katie Singer
  97. Widow for One Year by John Irving
  98. Women of the Raj by Margaret MacMillan
  99. Working Poor by David Shipler
  100. Year in Provence, a by Peter Mayle

POETRY COMPLETED:

  1. “Golden Angel Pancake House” by Campbell McGrath
  2. “Lepanto” by Gilbert Keith Chesterton
  3. “Listeners” by Walter De La Mare
  4. “Mandalay” by Rudard Kipling
  5. “Road and the End” by Carl Sandburg
  6. “Sea-Fever” by John Masefield
  7. “Winter” by Marie Ponsot
  8. “In My Craft or Sullen Art” by Dylan Thomas
  9. The Long Hill” by Sarah Teasdale
  10. “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost

SHORT STORIES COMPLETED:

  1. “Here’s a Little Something” by Dan Chaon (from Among the Missing)
  2. “Big Me” by Dan Chaon (from Among the Missing)
  3. “Servants of the Map” by Elizabeth Barrett (from Servant of the Map)
  4. “The Cure” by Elizabeth Barrett (from Servants of the Map)
  5. “In the Land of Men” by Antonya Nelson (from In the Land of Men)
  6. “Goodbye Midwest” by Antonya Nelson (from In the Land of Men)
  7. “Ado” by Connie Willis (from Impossible Things)
  8. “At the Rialto” by Connie Willis (from Impossible Things)
  9. “A Tiger-Killer is Hard To find” by Ha Jin (from Bridegroom: stories)
  10. “After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town” by Ha Jin (from Bridegroom: stories)
  11. “Interpreter of Maladies” by Jhumpa Lahiri (from Interpreter of Maladies)
  12. “A Temporary Matter” by Jhumpa Lahiri (from Interpreter of Maladies)
  13. “A Few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies” by John Murray (from A Few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies)
  14. “Watson and the Shark” by John Murray (from A Few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies)

NEXT YEAR:

  1. House of Morgan by Ron Chernow (as previously mentioned)
  2. Rose Cafe by John Hanson Mitchell

Other Wes Moore

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Moore, Wes. The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates. New York: Spiegel & Grau, 2011.

The concept of this book is really quite simple: two kids of the same age with the exact same name grew up in the same city within blocks of one another but ended up having very different lives. Author Wes Moore went on to be a Rhodes Scholar while the other Wes Moore became a convicted felon. Why? Scholar Wes Moore decided to find out. He contacted the other Wes Moore, first through letters then prison visits. The result is a gut-wrenching memoir about coming of age fatherless in the crime-ridden streets of Baltimore.

Quotes that got me, “…I loved throwing my name up on a wall; it felt like splashing in the shallow end of the criminal pool” (p 80).

Reason read: I have no idea. Well, yes I do know why. My academic slipped it my way without explanation. I’m not involved in the reading group but I decided to read it anyway.

Author fact: In addition to everything else he has done, Wes Moore is also associated with the Oprah network.

Book trivia: Many institutions across the country (including mine) are tapping into Wes Moore’s story as a learning tool for first time students. Interesting.

O Say Can You Read July List

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  1. Abide By Me by Elizabeth Strout – August
  2. At Home in the Heart of Appalachia by John O’Brien – September
  3. Beyond the Bogota by Gary Leech – August
  4. Burma Chronicles by Guy Delise – September
  5. Burning the Days by James Salter – August
  6. Child that Books Built by Francis Spufford – September
  7. Conspiracy and Other Stories by Jaan Kross – August
  8. Deafening by Frances Itani – October
  9. Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby – August
  10. Going Wild by Robert Winkler – October
  11. Guardians by Geoffrey Kabaservice – November
  12. Light Infantry Ball by Hamilton Basso – September
  13. Nobody Knows My Name by James Baldwin – August
  14. Ocean of Words by Ha Jin – October
  15. Old Friends by Tracy Kidder – September
  16. Panther Soup by John Grimlette – November
  17. Southpaw by Mark Harris – October
  18. Time, Love, Memory by Jonathan Weiner – November
  19. What you Owe Me by Bebe Moore Campbell – November
  20. Wolves of Willough by Chase by Joan Aiken – September

ON DECK FOR JULY:

  1. Apollo: the epic journey to the moon by David West Reynolds
  2. Fixer by Joe Sacco
  3. Return of the Dancing Master by Henning Mankell
  4. Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
  5. Working Poor by David Shipler
  6. ADDED: Ready for a Brand New Beat by Mark Kurlansky

FINISHED:

  1. Adventures of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol
  2. Ancient Athens on 5 Drachmas a Day by Philip Matyszak
  3. Apples Are From Kazakhstan by Christopher Robbins
  4. Arctic Grail by Pierre Berton (I started this last year. No, sorry – two years ago)
  5. Ariel by Sylvia Plath
  6. Author, Author by David Lodge (audio)
  7. Beautiful Swimmers by William Warner
  8. Before the Knife by Carolyn Slaughter
  9. Bellwether by Connie Willis
  10. Beneath the Lion’s Gaze by Maaza Mengist (audio)
  11. Big Mouth and Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
  12. Billy by Albert French
  13. Brass Go-Between by Oliver Bleeck
  14. Breakfast with Scot by Michael Drowning
  15. Brush with Death by Elizabeth Duncan
  16. Brushed by Feathers by Frances Wood
  17. Camus, a Romance by Elizabeth Hawes
  18. Cardboard Crown by Martin Boyd
  19. Cat Who Ate Danish Modern by Lillian Jackson Braun
  20. Churchill, a life by Martin Gilbert
  21. City of Thieves by David Benioff
  22. Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner
  23. Death in Verona by Roy Harley Lewis
  24. Descending the Dragon by Jon Bowermaster
  25. Diamond Classics by Mike Shannon
  26. Difficult Young Man by Martin Boyd
  27. Dining with Al-Qaeda by Hugh Pope
  28. Domestic Manners of the Americans by Fanny Trollope
  29. The Evolution of Jane by Catherine Schine
  30. Edward Lear in Albania by Edward Lear
  31. Fanny by Edmund White
  32. Fear of Flying by Erica Jong
  33. Final Solution by Michael Chabon
  34. Flamboya Tree by Clara Olink Kelly
  35. Footnotes in Gaza by Joe Sacco
  36. Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Zabat Katz (audio)
  37. Full Cupboard of Life by Alexander McCall Smith
  38. Gabriel Garcia Marquez by Gerald Martin
  39. Galton Case by Ross MacDonald
  40. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos
  41. Girl in Landscape by Jonathan Lethem
  42. God: a biography by Jack Miles
  43. Gold Coast Madam by Rose Laws
  44. Golden Spruce by John Vaillant
  45. Good City edited by Emily Hiestand
  46. Good Thief’s Guide to Paris by Chris Ewan
  47. Good Thief’s Guide to Vegas by Chris Ewan
  48. Good-bye Chunk Rice by Craig Thompson
  49. Grand Ambition by Lisa Michaels
  50. Her by Christa Parravani
  51. Hole in the Earth by Robert Bausch
  52. Hole in the World by Richard Rhodes
  53. House on the Lagoon by Rosario Ferre
  54. Iliad by Homer
  55. Idle Days in Patagonia by William Hudson
  56. Imperfect Harmony by Stacy Horn (for LibraryThing’s Early Review program
  57. Joy of Cooking by Irma Rombauer
  58. Kalahari Typing School for Men by Alexander McCall Smith
  59. Lives of the Painters, vol 2, 3 & 4 by Giorgio Vasari
  60. The long Walk by Slavomir Rawicz
  61. Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou for the Early Review Program
  62. Mortality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith
  63. No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
  64. Of Human Bondage by William Maugham
  65. ADDED: The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore
  66. Outbreak of Love by Martin Boyd
  67. Path Between the Seas by David McCullough
  68. ADDED: Patrimony: a True Story by Philip Roth
  69. Playing for Keeps by David Halberstam
  70. Points Unknown edited by David Roberts
  71. Rabbit Hill by Robert Lawson
  72. Rosalind Franklin: Dark Lady of DNA by Brenda Maddox
  73. Scar Tissue by Michael Ignatieff
  74. Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy
  75. Scramble for Africa by Thomas Pakenham
  76. Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
  77. Suzy’s Case by Andy Siegel (as recommended)
  78. Tatiana by Dorothy Jones
  79. Tattered Cloak by Nina Berberova
  80. Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith
  81. Tears of the Giraffe by Alexander McCall Smith
  82. This is Paradise by Kristiana Kahakawila for LibraryThing
  83. Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy Sayers
  84. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackery
  85. Viceroy of Ouidah by Bruce Chatwin
  86. When Blackbirds Sing by Martin Boyd
  87. Wholeness of a Broken Heart by Katie Singer
  88. Widow for One Year by John Irving
  89. Women of the Raj by Margaret MacMillan
  90. ADDED: Year in Provence, a by Peter Mayle

POETRY COMPLETED:

  1. “Golden Angel Pancake House” by Campbell McGrath
  2. “Lepanto” by Gilbert Keith Chesterton
  3. “Listeners” by Walter De La Mare
  4. “Mandalay” by Rudard Kipling
  5. “Road and the End” by Carl Sandburg
  6. “Sea-Fever” by John Masefield
  7. “Winter” by Marie Ponsot
  8. “In My Craft or Sullen Art” by Dylan Thomas
  9. The Long Hill” by Sarah Teasdale
  10. “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost

SHORT STORIES COMPLETED:

  1. “Here’s a Little Something”  by Dan Chaon (from Among the Missing)
  2. “Big Me” by Dan Chaon (from Among the Missing)
  3. “Servants of the Map” by Elizabeth Barrett (from Servant of the Map)
  4. “The Cure” by Elizabeth Barrett (from Servants of the Map)
  5. “In the Land of Men” by Antonya Nelson (from In the Land of Men)
  6. “Goodbye Midwest” by Antonya Nelson (from In the Land of Men)
  7. “Ado” by Connie Willis (from Impossible Things)
  8. “At the Rialto” by Connie Willis (from Impossible Things)
  9. “A Tiger-Killer is Hard to Find” by Ha Jin (from Bridegroom: stories)
  10. “After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town” by Ha Jin (from Bridegroom: stories)
  11. “Interpreter of Maladies” by Jhumpa Lahiri (from Interpreter of Maladies)
  12. “A Temporary Matter” by Jhumpa Lahiri (from Interpreter of Maladies)
  13. “A few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies” by John Murray (from A Few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies)
  14. “Watson and the Shark” by John Murray (from A few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies)

NEXT YEAR:

  1. House of Morgan by Ron Chernow (as previously mentioned)
  2. Rose Cafe by John Hanson Mitchell

Patrimony

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Roth, Philip. Novels and Other Narratives 1986 – 1991. Patrimony: A True Story. New York: Library of America, 2008.

I will admit this was hard to read. For starters it is about the relationship Roth had with his father and the illness that finally took that relationship away. Any story about a father tugs at my heart strings because mine is no longer with me. Secondly, Roth’s father died of a brain tumor. My aunt had a brain tumor and while it isn’t the same kind her life has been changed forever because of it. I grieve for the person she used to be.

Philip Roth delivers a touching tribute to his father. With eloquence,  humor and the utmost respect he shares his father’s illness leading up to his final days. Herman Roth wakes up one morning to a strange paralysis, drooping eyelid, slack cheek and slurred speech, on one side of his face. Thinking he has had a stroke Philip takes his father to see a doctor. The news is worse. Herman has a brain tumor at the base of his skull that has been growing for ten years. What follows is a journey of father and son, navigating medical treatments and traversing the rough road of relationships. The result is a touching memoir of discovery for both father and son. If you have never read anything by Roth, read this.

Line that stopped me dead, “You clean up your father’s shit because it has to be cleaned up, but in the aftermath of cleaning it up, everything that’s there to feel is felt as it never was before” (p689). Wow.

Reason read: Father’s Day is June 16th this year. I am reading Patrimony in honor of the father I lost on September 21, 1992.

Author fact: An interesting website for Roth is here.

Book trivia: In 1992 Roth received the National Book Critics Circle Award for Patrimony: a True Story.

BookLust Twist: from Book Lust in the chapter called “Me, Me, Me: Autobiographies and Memoirs” (p 163).

Flamboya Tree

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Kelly, Clara Olink. The Flamboya Tree: Memories of a Mother’s Wartime Courage. New York: Random House, 2002.

This is a short memoir. Some would say too short. Clara Olink Kelly is just four years old when her family is torn apart by the Japanese invasion of the Pacific Island of Java during World War II. Clara’s father is forced to work on the Burma railroad while Clara’s mother is left to care for two small children and a pregnant with a second son. It isn’t long before the Japanese commandeer their home and the entire family is transferred to a concentration camp, Kamp Tjideng. There Clara spends four long years enduring extreme crowding, starvation, illness and unspeakable filth. In addition she witnesses horrific abuse and violence that would haunt her for the rest of her life. The one piece of home that keeps them going is a small painting of a red flamboya tree. This painting, because it was never abused or destroyed by the Japanese, became a symbol of strength for the family. It goes wherever they go. The other symbol of strength is Clara’s mother. The beautiful thing about The Flamboya Tree is that throughout the entire story Clara’s respect and admiration for her mother never waivers. It is a lovely tribute to a mother who did everything she could to protect her children and survive the harsh conditions.

Powerful line, “She still had the audacity to hold her head high” (p 61).

Reason read: To recognize Nyepi, the Balinese Day of Silence. Last year it was celebrated at the end of March.

Author fact: Do a search for Clara Olink Kelly and she pops up on the website IMDb because she appeared on the Rosie O’Donnell show in 2002. Do an image search for Clara Olink Kelly and you will discover she looks just like her mother.

Book trivia: There is a study guide for The Flamboya Tree: Memories of a Mother’s Wartime Courage and the first question is, “would you have tried to escape?” What a loaded question!

BookLust Twist: From  Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “Indicative of Indonesia” (p 104).

After Visiting Friends

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Hainey, Michael. After Visiting Friends: a Son’s Story. New York: Scribner, 2013.

Like any good reporter, Michael Hainey (who actually works for GQ) wants the truth, especially when the truth as he knows it is full of strange inconsistencies; even more so when the truth involves the details surrounding the tragic death of his own father,
Michael was only six years old when his father, respected newspaper man Bob Hainey, died of an apparent heart attack “after visiting friends.” What friends, Michael has always wondered. Even more curious – friends and family are tight lipped about that night and the details in different newspapers don’t add up. Pretty ironic for a newspaper man’s obituary. Was it really a heart attack when another reputable paper called it a cerebral hemorrhage?
Growing up, no wanted to talk to Michael about that night, no matter how many times he asked. As an adult Michael decided to write a book about his father and in doing so provided people with the opening to start talking. Little by little Michael finally uncovers the truth. What he discovers is not earth shattering for the rest of the world. These things happen all the time. But, back then there was a different kind of fierce loyalty between friends, family, and even newspaper men.
Throughout Michael’s investigation he is forced to consider and examine his relationships with family. His grandmother, with whom he has always felt a special bond; his brother, now a family man himself; his mother who has always kept a stiff upper lip and refused to show weakness; and lastly, his father, the hero he wanted to be like who turned out to be human after all.

It is fair to say that I couldn’t put this down. How terrible is it to have a haunting that lasts your entire childhood? What is worse is the truth; forcing yourself to not only be responsible for uncovering it but accepting it as well.

Death does funny things to us. While reading After Visiting Friends I found myself thinking Hainey was unraveling and revealing my innermost thoughts. I, too, lost my father to a cerebral hemorrhage. I, too, have looked for my father in the faces of strangers, in the eyes of other men on the street. I, too, expect to see him anywhere and everywhere. “You never accept the truth that they are dead. You can’t. You won’t” (p 129). Exactly. I hated Hainey for pointing out the obvious, that if ever I met my father on the street I would not fall to my knees grateful for his return, his life restored. Instead, hurtful and pitiful, I would casting a blaming eye and ask why he left.

Resolutions and Pulse Checks

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So. January is over. Another month gone by. Another dozen or so books read. I’m frustrating myself because I keep adding books to the list. Like I mentioned earlier these additions come from another list created before this one. *Sigh* I am up to 95 titles (from the 81 I originally started with) and “down” (meaning read) 35. Such an odd exchange, but there it is. Tomorrow I will post the month of January in detail.

  1. Abide By Me by Elizabeth Strout
  2. ADDED: Adventures of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
  3. Among the Missing by Dan Chaon
  4. ADDED: Ancient Athens on 5 Drachmas a Day by Philip Matyszak
  5. Apollo: the epic journey to the moon by David West Reynolds
  6. ADDED: Apples Are From Kazakhstan by Christopher Robbins
  7. Arctic Grail by Pierre Berton (I started this last year)
  8. Ariel by Sylvia Plath
  9. At Home in the Heart of Appalachia by John O’Brien
  10. Beautiful Swimmers by William Warner
  11. Before the Knife by Carolyn Slaughter
  12. ADDED: Bellwether by Connie Willis
  13. Beneath the Lion’s Gaze by Maaza Mengist
  14. Beyond the Bogota by Gary Leech
  15. Big Mouth and Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
  16. ADDED: Billy by Albert French
  17. Brass Go-Between by Oliver Bleeck
  18. Breakfast with Scot by Michael Drowning
  19. Brush with Death by Elizabeth Duncan
  20. Burma Chronicles by Guy Delise
  21. Burning the Days by James Salter
  22. Camus, a Romance by Elizabeth Hawes
  23. Cardboard Crown by Martin Boyd
  24. Cat Who Ate Danish Modern by Lillian Jackson Braun
  25. Child that Books Built by Francis Spufford
  26. Churchill, a life by Martin Gilbert
  27. ADDED: City of Thieves by David Benioff
  28. Conspiracy and Other Stories by Jaan Kross
  29. Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner
  30. Deafening by Frances Itani
  31. Death in Verona by Roy Harley Lewis
  32. ADDED: Descending the Dragon by Jon Bowermaster
  33. Diamond Classics by Mike Shannon
  34. Dining with Al-Qaeda by Hugh Pope
  35. Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
  36. Domestic Manners of the Americans by Fanny Trollope
  37. Edward Lear in Albania by Edward Lear
  38. Fanny by Edmund White
  39. Final Solution by Michael Chabon
  40. Fixer by Joe Sacco
  41. Footnotes in Gaza by Joe Sacco
  42. Full Cupboard of Life by Alexander McCall Smith
  43. Gabriel Garcia Marquez by Gerald Martin
  44. Galton Case by Ross MacDonald
  45. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos
  46. Girl in Landscape by Jonathan Lethem
  47. Going Wild by Robert Winkler
  48. Golden Spruce by John Vaillant
  49. ADDED via LibraryThing’s Early Review: Gold Coast Madam by Rose Laws
  50. Good Thief’s Guide to Paris by Chris Ewan
  51. Good Thief’s Guide to Vegas by Chris Ewan
  52. Good-bye Chunk Rice by Craig Thompson
  53. Grand Ambition by Lisa Michaels
  54. Guardians by Geoffrey Kabaservice
  55. ADDED via LibraryThing Early Review: Her by Christa P
  56. Hole in the Earth by Robert Bausch
  57. House of Morgan by Ron Chernow
  58. House on the Lagoon by Rosario Ferre
  59. ADDED: Idle Days in Patagonia by William Hudson
  60. Joy of Cooking by Irma Rombauer
  61. Kalahari Typing School for Men by Alexander McCall Smith
  62. Light Infantry Ball by Hamilton Basso
  63. Lives of the Painters, vol 2, 3 & 4 by Giorgio Vasari
  64. Mortality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith
  65. No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
  66. Nobody Knows My Name by James Baldwin
  67. Ocean of Words by Ha Jin
  68. ADDED: Of Human Bondage by William Maugham
  69. Old Friends by Tracy Kidder
  70. Panther Soup by John Grimlette
  71. ADDED: Playing for Keeps by David Halberstam (only because someone gave it to me as a gift and it’s on my list)
  72. Points Unknown edited by David Roberts
  73. Rabbit Hill by Robert Lawson
  74. Return of the Dancing Master by Henning Mankell
  75. Rosalind Franklin: Dark Lady of DNA by Brenda Maddox
  76. Rose Cafe by John Hanson Mitchell
  77. Scar Tissue by Michael Ignatieff
  78. Scramble for Africa by Thomas Pakenham
  79. Southpaw by Mark Harris
  80. ADDED: Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
  81. ADDED: Tatiana by Dorothy Jones
  82. Tattered Cloak by Nina Berberova
  83. Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith
  84. Tears of the Giraffe by Alexander McCall Smith
  85. Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
  86. Time, Love, Memory by Jonathan Weiner
  87. Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy Sayers
  88. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackery
  89. Viceroy of Ouidah by Bruce Chatwin
  90. What you Owe Me by Bebe Moore Campbell
  91. Wholeness of a Broken Heart by Katie Singer
  92. Widow for One Year by John Irving
  93. Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken
  94. ADDED: Women of the Raj by Margaret MacMillan
  95. Working Poor by David Shipler

her

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her: a memoir. Parravani, Christa. New York: Henry Holt & Co., 2013

Christa and Cara are identical twins who embody the myth of closeness – two people, one soul. Their bond is not only forged from biology and the womb but strengthened by overcoming a difficult childhood and all adversities that come with poverty and abuse.
But, what happens when one twin starts to spiral out of control? Does the other twin remain independently strong or does she get dragged down with her mirror image sibling? When Cara survives a brutal rape the violence never leaves her mind and she embarks on a journey full of drugs and self destruction. The more Cara sinks into depression and recklessness the more Christa struggles to stay above her sister’s chaos. Christa struggles with finding the delicate balance between loving her sister and wanting to save herself. This becomes especially dangerous when she is desperate to save her sister at the risk of losing herself. Finally, when faced with failure Christa has the seemingly insurmountable task of extracting her life from that of her sister’s. To look into her coffin was to see herself. Part Two of her is Christa’s journey to find herself; to crawl out from under the mountain of grief; to be her own singular person.

Postscript ~ Being very familiar with the area where Cara was raped I refrained from looking at Christa’s photography until I was finished with the book. I have to be honest, the photographs are so striking I kept returning to them. They add an air of quiet melancholy and bring Cara and Christa’s “twinness” into sharper focus. I would say to add more of these photographs to the memoir would make the story even more haunting (if that was even possible). Having said that, this is not a plea to do so, but rather a warning not to…if that makes any sense.

Also, this is the examination of sisterhood that I have always wondered about. I am not a twin but I frequently find myself comparing my current who, what, when, where & how with that of my sister. We had the same upbringing, the same education, the same locale we call hometown and yet our lives are miles apart. We bear no resemblance to the past we once shared. We are completely different in practically very aspect of our lives. I can’t imagine the relationship as a twin.

Drinking with Men

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Schaap, Rosie. Drinking with Men: a Memoir. New York: Riverhead Books, 2013.

One of the very first things you will notice about Drinking with Men is that it is 100% unapologetic. Schaap makes some pretty decent arguments for finding a bar to call your own…even if you are a single woman (stereotypes be damned). Then all of a sudden it hits you, Schaap can really write. She is funny, sarcastic, and above all, a great storyteller. In most cases the introduction to anything is an invitation to yawn. I am not ashamed to say most of the time I skip an introduction to everything. Not this time. Schaap’s introduction is almost a warning, as if to say “Hang on because I am about to tell it like it is. I. Like. To. Drink.” and she tells it with such ease that you keep reading and keep reading. You don’t realize you have let dinner burn, the cats have moved out and your husband has ordered and finished the pepperoni pizza all on his own.

I try not to dabble with discrepancies but when reading about her friend Ed I couldn’t help but notice she intermittently called him Al. Was that something I failed to find the explanation for or what? Truth be known I didn’t go back to see what I missed. I just kept reading.

Favorite lines: I have a few but I’m not sure if they’ll remain in the finished publication so I’ll refrain from exposing them. Weak, I know.

Reason read: Early review program for LibraryThing.

I am hijacking this review for a second: Now seems like a good time to add that I have decided to change how and when I read Early Review/LibraryThing books. Because their arrival to my doorstep is extremely unpredictable I am no longer going to confine myself to reading them within the month received. It just doesn’t work. What if I get a book on December 21st? the old system would have me trying to choke it down in nine days. Because it came in December I was of the mindset it needed to be read in December. Enough of that. Despite it’s arrival date I will take as long as I need to finish it. One rule stays true though – if there is a expected publish date I have to finish at least two weeks before.

November ’12 was…

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I don’t know what makes me feel this way, but November arrived and left before I knew it.  It felt like it was one of those elusive party-goers who pops in for a quick hello and is gone before anyone else knows. Something I would do. We had a fit of snow to add insult to New Jersey/New York injury. My neighborhood survived just fine but mother nature had it in for my old stomping grounds in the worst way.

My routine of reading during my lunch break hasn’t changed. I’ve come to look forward to camping out in the stacks, listening to students pass my study carrel. It gives me perspective. This month I seemed to read nothing but really short, easy to read books.

  • Good Thief’s Guide to Paris by Chris Ewan ~ a continuation of the series I started last month. I think I read this over a weekend.
  • Lives of the Painters, Sculptors and Architects, Vol 2 by Giorgio Vasari ~ a continuation of the series I started last month.
  • Breakfast with Scot by Michael Downing ~ in honor of national adoption month. This was cute. I was able to read it in one day.
  • Camus, a Romance by Elizabeth Hawes ~ in honor of Camus being born in the month of November. I took my time with this but still managed to finish it in two weeks.
  • Scar Tissue by Michael Ignatieff ~ in honor of national Alzheimer’s month. Read over a weekend, I was glued to the words because almost a year ago I lost my uncle to dementia. This really hit home.
  • Before the Knife: Memories of an African Childhood by Carolyn Slaughter ~ in honor of November being a good time to visit Africa. Or so they say. Another quick, weekend read.
  • Edward Lear in Albania: Journals of a landscape Painter in the Balkansby Edward Lear ~ in honor of November being the best time to get to Albania (which I never thought of doing). This took me three weeks to get through.
  • The Cold Light of Mourning by Elizabeth Duncan ~ in honor of Dylan Thomas living in Wales. Don’t ask. It’s a long story. Read in four days.
  • The Viceroy of Ouidah by Bruce Chatwin ~ in honor of November being a good time to visit Africa (yeah, yeah I read two books for the same reason). This was really short. I was  able to read it over four lunch breaks.
  • Corregidora by Gayl Jones ~ in honor of Jones’s birth month. Another short (but difficult) read. Read this in one day.
  • The Akhenaten Adventure by P.B. Kerr ~ in honor of November being Fantasy convention month. Read this over two lunch breaks. Really cute.

For audio books I listened to:

  • Churchill, a Life by Martin Gilbert ~ in honor of Churchill being born in the month of November. A few trips to the eastern part of the state allowed me to finish this sooner than I thought.
  • The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy Sayers ~ for the fun of it. This was hard to listen to simply because of the heavy dialogue.
  • Complications: a Surgeon’s Notes on an Imperfect Science by Atul Gawande ~ in honor of National Health Month. This was only six cds long so it was a great way to finish out the month.

What else was November about? I got to see a pretty exciting Patriots game thanks to my husband. I also got to stay home alone and read for an entire Sunday thanks to another Patriots game. Staying local for Thanksgiving definitely allowed for more reading time, too.

Camus, a Romance

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Hawes, Elizabeth. Camus, a Romance. New york: Grove Press, 2009.

I think what makes this biography so likeable is that Hawes includes her own memoir at the same time. The reader not only gets a portrait of one of the most influential writers of all time but Hawes displays her own life as well. Or at least she displays her obsession with Camus.
Small complaint. The photography Hawes chose to include of Albert Camus are tiny and interspersed in the text unlike other biographies where the photos are grouped together in large, glossy pages. I don’t know if Hawes didn’t receive permission to enlarge the photographs or what. The small photographs seem stingy for some reason; especially since Hawes admits that in reading Camus’s journal she finds him faceless and unknown. It is in photographs that she is able to tease out the intimacies of his spirit. The reader is not privy to most of the images she describes.
As an aside, a friend brought me three other Camus biographies just so I could see the photos. They were wonderful! It was especially nice to see the ones Hawes described in detail.

Line I heard throughout the book, “I was like an author who had fallen in love with one of his characters” (p 98).

Reason read: Albert Camus was born in October. I would have liked more Camus biographies on my list but this is the only one.

Author fact: I should call this “author rumor” because it’s not fact. In my opinion Hawes is obsessed with Camus. It’s as if, in this book, she is stalking his ghost.

Book trivia: No index.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust To Go in the chapter called “North African Notes: Algeria” (p 159).

Before the Knife

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Slaughter, Carolyn. Before the Knife: Memories of An African Childhood. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2002.

Before the Knife is a very quick read. Sometimes I felt I was reading fast because I wanted to get through the truly disturbing parts. In truth they were always there, lurking  behind the words Slaughter didn’t say, or worse, only alluded to. Because Slaughter announces early on, in the preface, that she was raped by her father the knowledge is out. “…the moment when everything changed only really came the night that my father first raped me” (p 4). However, she promises her story is not about that horror in particular. True to her word, Before the Knife isn’t about that trauma but having announced it, we readers are always aware of it. We translate innuendo to mean abuse every time. The story of an African childhood is lost to the knowledge something darker is at play. What a different book this would have been if we didn’t know! As expected Slaughter comes back full circle to the first night of the rape, describing it in more detail. Why, I do not know. The entire book is a tangled and confused mess of emotions.

Line that punched me in the stomach: “But once it happened, we decided that it never happened at all” (p 4). Story of my life.
Line that brought me solace: :I hoarded his words in my heart for weeks and brought them out like a talisman any time I was at my wit’s end” (p 182).

Reason Read: November is another good time to visit Africa, only not Slaughter’s Africa. Most of the places she described are no more.

Author Fact: Slaughter has written a bunch of other things including Dreams of the Kalahari.

Book Trivia: This memoir does not include any photographs.

BookLust Twist: From Book Lust in the chapter called “Dreaming of Africa” (p 76).

Sept ’12 Was…

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The first four days of September were a Rocky Mountain high followed by the harsh reality of back to school. I felt like a kid. What else? My kisa decided he wants to run a 5k for a charity event so September was our first month of training (the event is on October 14th). We caught the music bug, seeing Phish a few times and Sean Rowe once, which rocked, by the way. It’s fall so the nights are getting cooler. We closed the pool and took out the air conditioner; put a heavier blanket on the bed and put away the swimsuits. I had an eye toward azzkicking boots and comfy sweaters and celebrating eight years of marriage.

Here are the books:

  • Ariel by Andre Maurois ~ in honor of National Book Month. This was an easy book to read in four days.
  • Eleanor Roosevelt Vol. One by Blanche W. Cook ~ in honor of Roosevelt’s birth month. I fully admit I started this in August.
  • American Ground: the Unbuilding of the World Trade Center by William Langewiesche ~ in honor and memory of September 11, 2001. This was an audio book I inexplicably listened to on an airplane.
  • Enchantress From the Stars by Sylvia Louise Engdahl ~ in honor of a hero. I read this in one weekend.
  • Tear Down the Mountain by Roger Alan Skipper ~ in honor of an Appalachian Fiddle Fest held in September. I read this in Colorado over a three day period.
  • The Joke by Milan Kundera ~ in honor of September being the best time to visit Czechoslovakia. Okay.
  • Fire From Heaven by Mary Renault ~ in honor of back to school month. This took me a little while to read but I enjoyed it.
  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Nelle Harper Lee ~ in honor of September being Southern Month. Who has read this book and been able to hold back the tears?

There was only one book I fully admitted defeat on and that was The Deerslayer by James Fenimore Cooper. Just couldn’t do it. By default I am skipping Last of the Mohicans as well. Sad, sad, sad.

For the Early Review Program of LibraryThing I read All Gone: A Memoir of My Mother’s Dementia. With Refreshments. Another LibraryThing book came in at the end of the month but I’ll save that one for October.

For the fun of it I read To Heaven and Back by Mary C. Neal, MD ~ in honor of my aunt who lost her son.